Psychedelic attachment theory

I am going to share a story with you. And then I am going to explain what was, for me, the most important part of my PhD research: what I have called psychedelic attachment theory. If you find it insightful, please share it with others, and help to support my work.

The below is an excerpt from Chapter 6 of my PhD dissertation, “Community medicine: Abolitionist worldbuilding among drug use liberation activists on Turtle Island.” The full dissertation is available by email request for students, academics and activists. For the public, I made it into a YouTube video, or you can purchase it here.

“The plants told us so”

The front of the medicine ceremony room was set up with instruments: drums, flutes, a harp, a handpan, a zither, shakers, singing bowls, chimes, charango guitar, an enormous gong. I found Elena, the main guide, to be somewhat intimidating. She is not warm and fuzzy, the way I realized I subconsciously expected her to be. She is kind, but I found her calm, straightforward, standoffish energy activating to my insecure, people-pleasing instincts. But she came highly recommended by two different people I trust deeply, so I trusted her. I felt embarrassed when I realized that I wanted her to like me.

Elena shared with us the highly labour-intensive process of preparing the medicine. She spoke about her relationship with the Indigenous teachers who showed her how to make it. She lived and studied with them full-time for a decade before beginning to guide others. She maintains an ongoing, reciprocal relationship to them still today.

“People ask my teachers, how did your people figure out how to make this medicine?” she said. The silence deepened as we listened. “They simply say, ‘the plants told us so.’”

Sage smoke hangs thick in the air, moving softly in the low light. Madre, the plant spirit, comes into us. Her arrival is an explosion of universal oneness in my body.

We journey. The icaros, the medicine songs, shift and change. Sometimes the guides are singing to the plant spirits, asking them to come help us, to cleanse us, to heal us. Sometimes they are singing about the sweet medicine, linda medicina. Sometimes they are prayers—to Grandmother Moon, to Grandfather Sun, to Madre, to water, to our mothers and grandmothers. They feel ancient. Soul music, passed down through how many hundreds or thousands of years, speaking to the connection between ourselves and the earth, a connection that is hanging by a thread, having been hacked at with steel swords and guns and greed like an old growth cedar. But it’s impossible to sever the connection entirely while we still exist as a species. We are of the earth, we need her. While we’re alive, the connection remains, because once it’s severed, we all die. We cannot eat steel. As the sound of the drums pulses through me, I linger on a memory of the words of John O’Donohue, Irish Celtic philosopher and poet:

“The first sound that every human hears is the sound of the mother’s heartbeat in the dark lake water of the womb. This is the reason for our ancient resonance with the drum as a musical instrument. The sound of the drum brings us consolation because it brings us back to that time when we were at one with the mother’s heartbeat. That was a time of complete belonging. No separation had yet opened; we were completely in unity with another person.” (O’Donohue 1997)

I feel like I’m being crushed by the sun. I am an animal when I am purging, no thoughts, no past, no future, only the present. Releasing blocks, releasing demons.

I grope around for my bucket. I can’t find it. “Have you seen my bucket?” I whisper to Joe, who is lying beside me. I’m handed a very heavy bucket, much heavier than I’d remembered. “Um, it’s our bucket now,” he says sheepishly through the dark. We both start giggling, then laughing, and are shushed by one of the guides.

I want to get back to the joyful, silly person I am when I’m thriving. I’ve been trapped in a dark storm of fear and resentment and frustration, chained in by my pain, by the ways I can see and feel systems of hierarchical power everywhere. Adding ethnographic training onto neurodivergent sensitivity was a hell of a life choice.

Suddenly, I am not thinking about pain—I am feeling it, with monstrous intensity. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. My whole body, wracked with it. Like my bones are being torn apart. I am writhing in my sleeping bag, I want to scream. Surrender to her, I think. The pain disappears, and all my molecules are scattered throughout the universe.

At one point, I sit bolt upright. I get on my hands and knees, shaking my body. I am moaning. Movement, I need movement. I’m always sitting, lying down, afraid, frozen, hiding, calcifying: the “disembodied subjugation” (Brunette-Debassige 2018:200) of colonial survival. I put my elbows to the floor and shake my hips like I’m in labour, the labour I never had the terrible, beautiful fortune of experiencing. Both my babies were C-section births. The doctors injected me with fentanyl for the operations, the same medicine others struggle to safely access to treat their own pain. So much violence is used to stop people from accessing pain relief.

I see death and destruction. Poison coursing through the whole world. The drive to accumulate more power and money, that most destructive of all addictions, is a sickness rooted in fear. It’s a sickness that’s covered the world, and it’s about to kill us all if we don’t heal and become a collective again. The collective includes nonhuman species, as well as more-than-human entities and spirits (Lutkajtis 2020; Williams et al. 2022). To decolonize is to rebuild relationality through practice, to understand and respect the role of each part of the spiritual and physical ecosystem in which we are embedded, including our own role as caretakers and stewards (Kimmerer 2013). Anthropologists are incredibly well-positioned to help with the work of knowledge translation between cultures with these traditions, and settler colonial cultures, yet as a whole we remain lost in a forest of Eurocentric theorizing (Todd 2016) and dissociative labour. Anthropologists know so many different ways of being human, we can speak to settlers, we have amassed a wealth of Indigenous knowledges (sometimes unethically, further behooving our duty to make amends)—we could be doulas for the birth of this new world, if we choose to be.

The storm I feel inside becomes visualized. Storms come with rain, and rain is what makes things grow—water is life (Estes 2024). Strong winds clear out older, weaker trees to make room for new growth. Stop fighting it and listen. Listen to your body. You were trained to ignore it, it’s time to listen.

At one point, Elena has us all sing. Our voices grow stronger as we find the rhythm, become the lyrics. The words etch themselves into my heart, carving the ethos on the tree of my soul: “Together, together, together, together. Together we go further, together we are one.”

* * *

In the morning, everyone shared gratitude to the group for each others’ stories and for co-creating the healing space, expressing how grateful they felt to be in a room where everyone could be open, honest and vulnerable. This vulnerability and reciprocal communal care emerged as an essential part of the healing process. Through it, the individual is contextualized as part of a gestalt, something larger, more humble, and more whole—more human.

We closed the circle by singing one uniting note, and went to feast together. I spent the day napping, journalling, walking in the woods, and carefully avoiding my phone. I worried the long walk I took might leave my energy more drained for the evening’s work, but I felt rejuvenated by the snow, the trees, and the silence. I thought of Boris saying “silence is the medicine.” The affective porosity of the ceremony had allowed wisdom from him and everyone else to seep into my being.

Psychedelic attachment theory

We pack up to leave from the medicine retreat, sharing food and reflections and collectively helping to clean up the cabin. Thinking about relationality, in a moment of revelation, I suddenly understand so clearly why Elena is an excellent guide. The very same calm, standoffish—almost cold, if you’re insecure—demeanor that was so unexpected to me, is essential for an effective healing experience of this intensity. It’s not by accident that she maintains a respectful distance. There is deep healing work happening here in these ceremonies, and—to use a Western neuroscientific framing—psychedelics work on the brain in ways that create neural connections that do not exist naturally after childhood. They “reduce the stability and integrity of well-established brain networks … and simultaneously reduce the degree of separateness or segregation between them” (Carhart-Harris et al. 2016:4857). As such, Western scholars have suggested that the therapeutic value of psychedelics lies in “dismantling reinforced patterns of negative thought and behavior by breaking down the stable spatiotemporal patterns of brain activity on which they rest” (Carhart-Harris et al. 2014:14). Essentially, your brain is temporarily turned, functionally, into that of a child—open, curious, playful, vulnerable, a wide funnel for sensory input. The stories of psychedelic experiences that I collected often include descriptions of being in a child-like or even baby-like state. Psychedelics thus create an environment in the mind, body and spirit that can facilitate an incredible shortcut to healing, under the right conditions of intention, mindset, setting, dose, and guidance or co-journeying. “Ten years of therapy in a night,” is a common phrase people said about traditional plant medicine ceremonies during my fieldwork.

The other side of the coin, however, is that a person under the influence of psychedelic medicine is very vulnerable, and that can expose them to the potential for harm. Many people have been harmed within psychedelic therapy practices, especially when they are decontextualized from holistic ritual contexts, “not only by therapists, but also by the system that is failing to respond, much less account for their actions or assist those who have been abused” (Villeneuve and Prescott 2022). Despite whisper networks of women regularly sounding the alarms of abuse, harm has even happened within clinical research trials (Ross and Wright 2022), with those who have attempted to speak up about power dynamics and bad actors within the psychedelic movement being professionally and personally punished for it (Ross and Nickles 2021).

As unresolved trauma can interfere with the resilience, flexibility, and openness to interpersonal vulnerability so essential to movement-building, as well as the health, stability and well-being of activists, healing is a crucial component of this worldbuilding. This is the core of what I have termed psychedelic attachment theory. In self-aware contexts that are contained within holistic ritual, power imbalances between the guide and participant, the participant and nature/the spirit world, and the participant and their community, can be used to create a profound sense of healing when the vulnerable person is protected and cared for by the guide, spirits, and community throughout the entire experience (including the preparations and rituals before and after consumption of the medicine, such as the sharing circle), replicating the sense of safety that can be fostered through the parent-child relationship when the child is cared for. This is what I saw as a key part of healing within psychedelic contexts.[1] There is a power imbalance in the psychedelic guide/participant relationship, as the experience involves deep physical and emotional vulnerability. But in appropriately prepared and contextualized decolonial settings, that power imbalance is consented to ahead of time, contingent on attuned care, mitigated somewhat by the guide’s own participation in the vulnerable act of consumption and sharing, directed intentionally towards the goal of building healthy autonomy and relationality, and subject to community sanction if misused. In this environment, people with severe attachment trauma from experiences of violence and neglect find themselves opening up and being nurtured by the medicine, in an atmosphere of emotional, physical, and spiritual safety built and maintained by the guides. I spoke about this with the guide Dana:

To understand the increased vulnerability, for better or worse, of people who are under the influence of psychedelics, a brief overview of attachment theory—as a metaphor to aid understanding, not as a diagnostic tool—is helpful. Attachment theory is a framework developed within psychology which posits that early relationships with caregivers shape an individual’s emotional development and capacity for forming secure, stable relationships throughout life (O’Shaughnessy et al. 2023). Within this theory, different attachment styles are identified—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, with the latter three understood as insecure—which influence resilience and how people respond to intimacy, stress, and conflict. Secure attachments, formed through consistent and responsive caregiving from primary attachment figures, promote emotional resilience, while insecure attachments, formed through inconsistent, absent or abusive caregiving, can lead to trauma and difficulties in relationships and emotional self-regulation. Psychotherapist Jessica Fern (2020) expanded on this theory, challenging the disproportionate emphasis on parental figures (and romantic partners in adulthood) to create a “nested model of attachment and trauma” which includes attachment impacts at the levels of the home, local community and culture, society, and the global or collective, which is an important expansion towards politicizing the theory and resisting the neoliberal individualization tendencies of Western psychology.

Though, again, my use of attachment theory is not to make any judgements about its universal validity or specific therapeutic utility, it is a useful lens through which to communicate about and understand my ethnographic data and psychedelic healing experiences. That said: Within this theory, inherent to the attachment relationship in childhood is the vulnerability of being completely dependent for survival on one’s attachment figures. Especially in the normalized social context of the nuclear family, children are not able to leave attachment figures that are emotionally or physically neglectful or abusive, as they rely on the harmful figure for survival. This creates ‘disorganized attachment,’ where they simultaneously are drawn towards, and are afraid of, an attachment figure, with no way of reconciling this somatic contradiction (often leading to adaptations such as dissociation, fawning, or other survival strategies that involve denial of the embodied self). Similarly, when considering Fern’s nested model, dependence on a structure much larger and more powerful than oneself (such as carcerality, white supremacy, patriarchy, etc.), which is the only structural ‘home’ one knows, may be understood to create a type of ‘disorganized attachment’ in which one feels dependent on the very thing that is causing one harm. I suspect this may explain why it is so profoundly difficult to shake people out of prohibitionist or capitalist realism: attachment to the stability of and myths behind one’s social structures represents some amount of perceived safety, so challenges to those ideas are felt in the body as survival threats. As Jonathan Metzl (2019) has shown, some people are willingly ‘dying of whiteness,’ taking on bodily harm to avoid the terrifying foundational restructuring that divesting from attachment to racial resentments would require. Harm alone, even grievous capitalist harms in the form of denied coverage for cancer treatments, rising sea levels, police violence, mass shootings, etc., is not enough to cause a person to abandon a sinking ship—unless there is a life raft for them to swim to. In the face of this “kamikaze necropolitics” (Masco 2023:285), a life raft is exactly what abolitionist worldbuilders are trying to create.

H: It’s incredible, the amount of work that goes into creating that space of safety for people to be vulnerable.

Dana: Yeah, in any kind of healing work, creating a safe and trusted environment is key to having a successful outcome. You know, having your participant feel safe is one way to let one layer come down, so that other layers can be revealed, right? Because we have so many blocks in social situations that in order to get to the core of the matter, you have to be able to feel safe, to let go of a lot to get to that vulnerable place.

However, like with other positions of power such as parents and teachers, this safety and healing requires acknowledgement and understanding on the part of the guide of the power they hold in the relationship, and accounting for that by prioritizing the development of the person they hold power over towards autonomy, community membership, and relationality. In psychedelic healing contexts, facilitating the connection between the participant and the medicine itself—the plant spirit(s)—is crucial. By putting up boundaries, the self-aware guide keeps people focused on the work, the circle, the medicine, the songs, Madre, themselves, the whole experience—not on her. Otherwise, guides can easily take advantage of this power imbalance by emphasizing their own mystical power and leaning into the ‘guru’ potentiality. It could be intoxicating—perhaps even addictive—to have people relying on you, fawning over your glory instead of the earth’s, in tears with gratitude for your help. That kind of power, like any drug, could become its own object of desire. This may especially be the case for Western guides who have not grown up within holistic traditions and teachings that account for these attachment dangers—many ayahuasca and psilocybin mushroom traditions, for example, require abstinence from sexual activity for several days before and after ceremonies (Graham, Saucedo, and Politi 2023; Lutkajtis 2020); this would be a helpful buffer against attaching to a partner during a spiritually and emotionally vulnerable state of liminality. Amazonian shamans also “have to negotiate constantly in order to continue to be considered benevolent actors in the local social relations … Often they have no real power or more resources than anybody else in the community and when they do they are suspected of sorcery” (Fotiou 2016:163-164).

Do a google search for "psytrance" and you'll end up with a lot of this.

So while I expected Elena to be warm, welcoming, comforting, maternal—some strange, embarrassingly revealing combination of attachment wounds, hopes and assumptions on my part about what characteristics a highly-respected trauma healing guide might embody—a guide who carelessly (or, if their aims are malicious, intentionally) leans into those characteristics is also potentially more at risk of placing themselves in the way of psychedelic attachment healing that is dangerously powerful. This can happen by complete accident, be done purposefully in the misguided and egoistic but well-meaning belief that it’s helpful for healing work, or be done intentionally to facilitate abuse. If a person in a psychedelic ceremony ends up associating their healing with the guide instead of the plant spirits and the community, they risk attaching to the guide. Rather than feeling strength, security and confidence in their own inner self and their sacred embeddedness within the collective ecosystem, they can end up feeling like the guide, not the medicine and their own work, is the source of their healing and wholeness. This is especially risky for people with childhood attachment trauma who have never experienced a truly safe, caring parental figure. It creates a vulnerability that can, and has, led to forms of abuse, sometimes extreme (Ross and Wright 2022; Villeneuve and Prescott 2022).

I knew about some of the risks of unscrupulous guides and guidance practices before attending the ceremony in that snow-swept cabin—indeed, years ago, Katie was the first person to warn me about them. Which is why, along with many concerns about cultural appropriation (Fotiou 2016), I was so choosy about finding a guide. But not everyone has the contacts, the knowledge, or the time to be this careful. People are traumatized, and many are desperate to find relief. Psychedelic use has exploded, and along with it, so has commodification, monetization, grifting, exploitation, carelessness, and stripping away of Indigenous context and stewardship (Davies, Pace, and Devenot 2023; Devenot, Conner, and Doyle 2022; Fotiou 2016; Gearin and Devenot 2021; Lutkajtis 2020; Pace and Devenot 2021; Ross and Wright 2022; Villeneuve and Prescott 2022; Williams et al. 2022). This is an unsurprising, but heartbreaking and deeply frustrating, result of psychedelics re-entering the Western mainstream in an era of widespread trauma and hyper-capitalism. In response, “the inclusion of Indigenous Peoples in the propagation and cultivation of plant medicines is a moral imperative” (McCleave et al. 2024:944).

Beyond drugs: Community medicine

I never heard the word ‘drug’ used to refer to psychedelic medicine at any of the retreats that were guided using traditional Indigenous frameworks. And though my radar for psychedelic exceptionalism remains acute, after this first retreat, I understood this better. The word “medicine” does not refer only to the substance itself, but everything about the healing experience as a whole—the ceremony, the connection, the group, the rituals, the music, the songs, the spirits, the relationality, the guidance: it’s all medicine—community medicine.

Working with our inherent porosity by practicing vulnerability is necessary in order to create and shape atmospheres and affects to collectively change the matrix of domination, and psychedelics can turbo-charge collective healing when used in the right environment with the right guidance. Decolonized attachment trauma healing involves connecting to relationality by rebuilding an attachment to the self, to the body, to community, and to the earth. An explicit relationship between decolonization and healing has been seen in many Indigenous psychedelic traditions. Some anthropologists have argued that ayahuasca shamanism in the Amazon has changed to reflect an increased focus on healing in the post-colonial era, in response to the horrors of prolonged suffering from colonizers bent on Christian and rubber extraction (Fotiou 2016; Gow 1994). Iboga, a word deriving from the word boghaga in the Tsogo language meaning “to take care of” (Kohek et al. 2020), has similarly been entwined in the last few centuries since French colonization with cultural responses to West Africans’ “experience of placelessness, of being uprooted, and of being alien in their own land” (Fernandez and Fernandez 2001):

“In the colonial era Bwiti became a context of collective psychological resistance to the anomie and demoralization related to the strain on indigenous community and family institutions. Bwiti offered a dignified realm of spiritual endeavor, ‘the work of the ancestors’ and social cohesion.” (Alper, Lotsof, and Kaplan 2008:10)

Communal healing is thus a crucial component of worldbuilding in this era of Onslaught, and though it does not need to be facilitated with psychedelics, practices must be politicized and decolonized to be effective: engaging with traditional knowledges and medicine-keepers, working against hierarchy, having difficult conversations, experimenting and trying, acknowledging and accounting for power imbalances, fostering healthy autonomy and relationality rather than dependence, a deep engagement with consent—all practices of abolitionist worldbuilding.

Just like humans, the process of healing is messy, and often incomplete. That is part of its beauty. The ritual, guidance, and communal healing involved in decommodified psychedelic use rooted in traditional wisdom can be seen as embodying a contained loss of control, in contrast with the disciplined pleasure of commodified drug use. The ‘container’ for the chaos, created through the rituals, allows for the porous dissolution of the self that is needed for relational healing. It is a testament to the power of these plant medicines that many people have benefited from them even when used outside of traditional or guided contexts, such as at raves and festivals (Agro 2016; Lehigh 2023). However, even non-traditional countercultural use is still usually embedded within cultural and often ritual context (Devenot et al. 2022), as forms of knowledge and practices are shared in communities of drug users and bolstered by particular practitioners in those groups who engage more deeply with writings, practices and teachings about the medicines; as well, raves and festivals involve collective trance states and the guidance of music (Hutson 2000; Jaimangal-Jones, Pritchard, and Morgan 2010). But as powerful as psychedelic medicines are, they cannot reshape society on their own. They cannot make your boss stop sexually harassing you, or keep strangers from calling you racist slurs, or bring your brother back from prison. How can we truly heal when the harm is ongoing?

The limits of individual healing

“When an individual or family in a healthy community experiences trauma, the community can hold the space for healing. But when the trauma happens to the whole community, who holds the space then?” (McCleave et al. 2024:941)

We are living in a constant state of besiegement by pandemics and genocides and overdose crises and lead and microplastics and sexual violence and failing health care systems and the commodification of everything sacred and the reactive lashings out of our panicky, terrified fellow humans: the Onslaught. Under these conditions, collective healing is complicated, but still possible. Childhood wounds can be made whole, stones turned to gold; we can gain incredible strength from community medicine through a connection to the earth and the embodied experience of feeling safe and accepted. Feeling that in one’s body even for a short time can change everything about what seems possible to a person, and how they relate to others, as it is how the fearful body can learn that safety can exist. This is a crucial part of the foundational worldbuilding work of imagining otherwise. But new wounds are constantly created by the day-to-day experience of Mother Earth’s gifts being stolen, commodified, and sold back to us (Kimmerer 2013); being forced to compete with others in order for our basic needs to be met; being alienated from each other; feeling constantly afraid of abandonment and harm if we don’t pay our rent on time or say the right things in our social group or placate people in power. We can feel in our bodies that something is deeply wrong.

However, the primary modes of healing we have access to in the West—the modes which are subsidized and sanctioned by settler colonial governments, and culturally normalized—are highly individualized and medicalized forms of psychiatry and psychotherapy. This is reflected in the current Western trend towards medicalization, both in rhetoric and in practice, of psychedelics, which

“promotes neoliberal, individualised treatments for distress, which distracts from collective efforts to address root causes of suffering through systemic change. [This discourse] subjects socially-determined distress to psychotropic intervention through the mechanisms of depoliticisation, productivisation, pathologisation, commodification, and de-collectivisation” (Davies et al. 2023:1)

The neoliberal “privatization of stress” (Fisher 2009:19) under capitalism puts the onus on the individual to deal with one’s problems, which is antithetical to the communal set and setting that supports healing through traditional medicines and rituals, and not just of the individual body but of the collective body. “The chemico-biologization of mental illness is of course strictly commensurate with its de-politicization” (Fisher 2009:37), a de-politicization which forecloses on political solutions to mental health problems (and indeed, locates these problems solely within the realm of the mind, reifying their separation from the body, spirit, collective, and ecosystem). Fisher argues that poor mental health is a paradigm of how capitalist realism operates: it’s assumed to be a natural fact of existence, but it’s actually a product of the conditions being hidden by the naturalization itself. This creates a situation in which surface-level solutions to treat the symptoms of capitalism and colonialism—including harm reduction, and policy-level interventions like voting reform and police body cams—are presented as cures to the only problems that actually exist. Vanessa spoke to how frustrating it was to be a part of this system:

Vanessa: When I was working as a counselor, it would be like, you help one person. You help them get an apartment. You help them get stabilized, all the rest of it. And then there’s another person with very similar sets of circumstances. We can help individuals. But if the structures aren’t changing, we’re just going to get caught in this continuous loop of doing the same thing over and over again. And so that was frustrating to me.

Thus, though individual and small-group healing is essential, in the context of capitalism and colonialism it can only ever be a patch-kit solution. If the legal commodification of drug production is seen as an acceptable end goal of anti-prohibition efforts, as it is by psychedelic capitalists (Davies et al. 2023; Devenot et al. 2022), the same colonial violence that underlies prohibition will continue, especially as regards labour and environmental exploitation in the Global South. If the people praising and making careers out of the “new psychedelic renaissance” were to engage with decolonial scholarship and praxis, and build solidarity with people who use non-psychedelic medicines and other anti-oppression activists who have been doing this work for decades, they would hopefully feel compelled to take a hard look at the root causes of the trauma that people are seeking to heal with psychedelics in the first place: the matrix of domination (Collins 1990). Reforms and patch-kit solutions “leave the existing colonial power-over structures in place and unchallenged, but they also leave unchallenged the entire history of genocide, theft, betrayal, oppression, and every manner of cruelty and injustice that had become the painful legacy that every Indigenous person, community, and nation now inherit” (McCaslin and Breton 2014:512).

Despite the wishful thinking of many in the world of psychedelics (Davies et al. 2023; Devenot et al. 2022), psychedelics are unfortunately not magic bullets towards universal oneness outside of cultural contexts which explicitly encourage relational values, and they fundamentally change very little about the status quo when they are disseminated and used in a colonial, hierarchical context. We know this because even neo-Nazis are using psychedelics now, and they remain neo-Nazis (Pace and Devenot 2021). “Psychedelia is no antagonist to late capitalism” (Keel 2022:415): Billionaire venture capitalist and surveillance tech mogul Peter Thiel has praised the “virgin market of for-profit psychedelics” (Brodwin 2018), promising to turn psilocybin mushroom rituals into franchised therapy centres.

Given the cultural context of a deeply alienated, white supremacist, and individualistic Western society, it is no surprise that the lack of engagement with the wisdoms of traditional Indigenous and/or counterculturally established spiritual and cultural contexts in Western medicalized psychedelic practice is one of the major red flags that critics of the current corporatized psychedelic ‘renaissance’ have been urgently pointing to (Davies et al. 2023; Devenot et al. 2022; Lutkajtis 2020; Ross and Wright 2022; Villeneuve and Prescott 2022). Currently, the miraculous potential to treat veterans for PTSD is being publicized by psychedelic colonizers with very little discussion of ending the military imperialism that creates the conditions of veterans’ trauma in the first place. There is not much profit in preventative medicine as opposed to remedial medicine because profiteering is antithetical to human and non-human health, but prevention should be the foundation of a holistic approach to healing, as is the way of transformative justice: preventing trauma in the first place is always more effective than treating it. Much like the continued dominance of abstinence-only approaches to drug education despite evidence of their inefficacy (Ennett et al. 1994; Lee and O’Malley 2018; Rosenbaum and Hanson 1998) is based in a kind of denialism—the approach of ‘don’t teach youth about drugs, lest it encourage them to use’ is a denial of the reality that youth are naturally drawn towards consciousness alteration, especially when their lives are difficult and unfulfilling—the remedial approach being taken towards trauma treatment is founded in a denial of the material and resolvable sources of the trauma. I add my voice to a growing number of scholars (e.g. Devenot et al. 2022; Falcon 2021b; Fotiou 2019; Lutkajtis 2020; McCleave et al. 2024; Williams et al. 2022) to argue that researchers have an ethical obligation to contextualize and challenge Western psychedelic scholarship that is conducted without a material engagement with decolonization while sacred Indigenous ecologies are being commodified and exploited, and so many of our siblings are sitting in prison, locked away for producing, selling and consuming the very same medicines (cannabis, mushrooms, etc.) whose potential are currently being praised.

Addressing the root causes of trauma thus requires going deeper than the level of the individual or small groups, and instead looking at the systems of violence themselves. The people who need the most healing might actually be those perpetuating the most harm; people who have self-medicated their fears through the addictive accumulation of power over others. To this end, psychedelic medicines can potentially “serve as decolonial tools for designing consciousness, and thereby assist in reorienting human social and environmental relations toward ontologies of relatedness and interconnectedness” (Falcon 2021:144). This is only possible, however, if Indigenous needs and worldviews are prioritized in scholarship, policy and praxis, including emphasizing the material stakes of decolonization through support of Land Back movements (Tuck and Yang 2012; Williams et al. 2022). “Western worldviews hold that plants are objects to be owned, modified, and patented, versus Indigenous worldviews where plants are our living relatives and cannot be owned because they are interconnected with us all” (McCleave et al. 2024:944).

Tuck and Yang warn against uncritically subsuming decolonization into other organizing concerns, turning anti-colonialism into a metaphor or secondary concern. Decolonization is material—it’s about land: “decolonization specifically requires the repatriation of Indigenous land and life” (Tuck and Yang 2012:17). Arguably, the most effective forms of activism will attempt to resist multiple forms of oppression simultaneously. I can’t help but wonder what might happen if we understood all human and civil rights projects to be impossible without Land Back as a foundational tenet.

The land is alive, and it is not ours. It can and should be stewarded, but it cannot and should not be owned any more than a human can or should be owned. Attempts at controlling, dominating and owning the land that gives us life have mutated into the Onslaught, a void demon of our own colonial making, here to show us that we reap what we sow.

“True listening is worship. With the sense of hearing, we listen to creation. One of the great thresholds in reality is the threshold between sound and silence. All good sounds have silence near, behind and within them” (O’Donohue 1997:70).


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Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young munchkins who are currently both obsessed with fart jokes.

References

  • Abu-Lughod, Lila. 1990. “The Romance of Resistance: Tracing Transformations of Power Through Bedouin Women.” American Ethnologist 17(1):41–55.
  • Agro, Hilary. 2016. “Prohibited Practice: Drug Use, Harm Reduction and Benefit Enhancement in Toronto Rave Culture.” University of Western Ontario.
  • Alper, Kenneth R., Howard S. Lotsof, and Charles D. Kaplan. 2008. “The Ibogaine Medical Subculture.” Journal of Ethnopharmacology 115(1):9–24.
  • Brodwin, Erin. 2018. “A Peter Thiel-Backed Startup Has Raised $25 Million to Unleash a ‘Virgin Market of For-Profit Psychedelic Research.’” Business Insider, October.
  • Brunette-Debassige, Candace. 2018. “From Subjugation to Embodied Self-in-Relation: An Indigenous Pedagogy for Decolonization.” Pp. 199–228 in Sharing Breath: Embodied Learning and Decolonization, edited by S. Batacharya and Y.-L. R. Wong. Edmonton, AB: Athabasca University Press.
  • Carhart-Harris, Robin L., Robert Leech, Peter J. Hellyer, Murray Shanahan, Amanda Feilding, Enzo Tagliazucchi, Dante R. Chialvo, and David Nutt. 2014. “The Entropic Brain: A Theory of Conscious States Informed by Neuroimaging Research with Psychedelic Drugs.” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 8:1–22.
  • Carhart-Harris, Robin L., Suresh Muthukumaraswamy, Leor Roseman, Mendel Kaelen, Wouter Droog, Kevin Murphy, Enzo Tagliazucchi, Eduardo E. Schenberg, Timothy Nest, Csaba Orban, Robert Leech, Luke T. Williams, Tim M. Williams, Mark Bolstridge, Ben Sessa, John McGonigle, Martin I. Sereno, David Nichols, Peter J. Hellyer, Peter Hobden, John Evans, Krish D. Singh, Richard G. Wise, H. Valerie Curran, Amanda Feilding, and David J. Nutt. 2016. “Neural Correlates of the LSD Experience Revealed by Multimodal Neuroimaging.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America 113(17):4853–58.
  • Collins, Patricia Hill. 1990. “Black Feminist Thought in the Matrix of Domination.” Pp. 541–52 in Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment. Boston: Unwin Hyman.
  • Coulthard, Glen Sean. 2020. “Once Were Maoists: Third World Currents in Fourth World Anti-Colonialism, Vancouver, 1967–1975.” Pp. 378–391 in Routledge Handbook of Critical Indigenous Studies, edited by B. Hokowhitu, A. Moreton-Robinson, L. Tuhiwai-Smith, C. Andersen, and S. Larkin. London: Routledge.
  • Davies, James, Brian A. Pace, and Neşe Devenot. 2023. “Beyond the Psychedelic Hype: Exploring the Persistence of the Neoliberal Paradigm.” Journal of Psychedelic Studies 7:1–13.
  • Devenot, Neşe, Trey Conner, and Richard Doyle. 2022. “Dark Side of the Shroom: Erasing Indigenous and Counterculture Wisdoms with Psychedelic Capitalism, and the Open Source Alternative, or, A Manifesto for Psychonauts.” Anthropology of Consciousness 33(2):476–505.
  • Ennett, S. T., N. S. Tobler, C. L. Ringwalt, and R. L. Flewelling. 1994. “How Effective Is Drug Abuse Resistance Education? A Meta-Analysis of Project DARE Outcome Evaluations.” American Journal of Public Health 84(9):1394–1401.
  • Estes, Nick. 2024. Our History Is the Future: Standing Rock Versus the Dakota Access Pipeline, and the Long Tradition of Indigenous Resistance. Chicago: Haymarket Books.
  • Falcon, Joshua. 2021a. “Designing Consciousness: Psychedelics as Ontological Design Tools for Decolonizing Consciousness.” Design and Culture 13(2):143–63.
  • Falcon, Joshua. 2021b. “Situating Psychedelics and the War on Drugs Within the Decolonization of Consciousness.” Acme 20(2):151–70.
  • Fern, Jessica. 2020. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy. Portland, OR: Thorntree Press.
  • Fernandez, James W. and Renate L. Fernandez. 2001. “‘Returning to the Path’: The Use of Iboga(Ine) in an Equatorial African Ritual Context and the Binding of Time, Space, and Social Relationships.” Alkaloids: Chemistry and Biology 56:235–47.
  • Fisher, Mark. 2009. Capitalist Realism. Winchester, UK: Zero Books.
  • Fotiou, Evgenia. 2016. “The Globalization of Ayahuasca Shamanism and the Erasure of Indigenous Shamanism.” Anthropology of Consciousness 27(2):151–79.
  • Fotiou, Evgenia. 2019. “The Role of Indigenous Knowledges in Psychedelic Science.” Journal of Psychedelic Studies 4(1):16–23.
  • Gearin, Alex K. and Neşe Devenot. 2021. “Psychedelic Medicalization, Public Discourse, and the Morality of Ego Dissolution.” International Journal of Cultural Studies 24(6):917–35.
  • Gow, Peter. 1994. “River People: Shamanism and History in Western Amazonia.” Pp. 90–113 in Shamanism, History, and the State, edited by N. Thomas and C. Humphrey. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.
  • Graham, Owain J., Gary Rojas Saucedo, and Matteo Politi. 2023. “Experiences of Listening to Icaros during Ayahuasca Ceremonies at Centro Takiwasi: An Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis.” Anthropology of Consciousness 34(1):35–67.
  • Hutson, S. R. 2000. “The Rave: Spiritual Healing in Modern Western Subcultures.” Anthropological Quarterly 73(1):35–49.
  • Jaimangal-Jones, Dewi, Annette Pritchard, and Nigel Morgan. 2010. “Going the Distance: Locating Journey, Liminality and Rites of Passage in Dance Music Experiences.” Leisure Studies 29(3):253–68.
  • Keel, Mat. 2022. “Neuro-Plastic Shamanism? Towards a Political Ontology of Whiteness and the Psychedelic Zeitgeist.” Anthropology of Consciousness 33(2):412–42.
  • Kimmerer, Robin Wall. 2013. Braiding Sweetgrass. Minneapolis, MN: Milkweed Editions.
  • Kohek, Maja, Maurice Ohren, Paul Hornby, Miguel Ángel Alcázar-Córcoles, and José Carlos Bouso. 2020. “The Ibogaine Experience: A Qualitative Study on the Acute Subjective Effects of Ibogaine.” Anthropology of Consciousness 31(1):91–119.
  • Kopnina, Helen. 2019. “Anthropocentrism and Post‐Humanism.” Pp. 1–8 in The International Encyclopedia of Anthropology, edited by H. Callan. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
  • Lee, Heather Sophia and Denalee O’Malley. 2018. “Abstinence-Only: Are You Not Working the Program or Is the Program Not Working for You?” Journal of Social Work Practice in the Addictions 18(3):289–304.
  • Lehigh, Gabrielle R. 2023. “Transformative Psychedelic Experiences at Music Events: Using Subjective Experience to Explore Chemosocial Assemblages of Culture.”
  • Lutkajtis, Anna. 2020. “Lost Saints: Desacralization, Spiritual Abuse and Magic Mushrooms.” Fieldwork in Religion 14(2):118–39.
  • Masco, Joseph. 2023. “The Condition of Our Condition.” Pp. 277–96 in Sovereignty Unhinged: An Illustrated Primer for the Study of Present Intensities, Disavowals, and Temporal Derangements, edited by D. A. Thomas and J. Masco. Durham, NC: Duke University Press.
  • McCaslin, Wanda D. and Denise C. Breton. 2014. “Justice as Healing: Going Outside the Colonizers’ Cage.” Pp. 511–31 in Handbook of Critical and Indigenous Methodologies, edited by N. K. Denzin, Y. S. Lincoln, and L. T. Smith. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.
  • McCleave, Christine Diindiisi, Susan Beaulieu, Rainbow Lopez, and Joseph Tafur. 2024. “Traditional and Indigenous Perspectives on Healing Trauma With Psychedelic Plant Medicines.” International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction 22(2):938–50.
  • Metzl, Jonathan. 2019. Dying of Whiteness: How the Politics of Racial Resentment Is Killing America’s Heartland. New York: Basic Books.
  • O’Donohue, John. 1997. Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. New York, NY: Harper Perennial.
  • O’Shaughnessy, Ruth, Katherine Berry, Rudi Dallos, and Karen Bateson. 2023. Attachment Theory: The Basics. New York: Routledge.
  • Pace, Brian A. and Neşe Devenot. 2021. “Right-Wing Psychedelia: Case Studies in Cultural Plasticity and Political Pluripotency.” Frontiers in Psychology 12:733185.
  • Rosenbaum, Dennis P. and Gordon S. Hanson. 1998. “Assessing the Effects of School-Based Drug Education: A Six-Year Multilevel Analysis of Project D.A.R.E.” Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency 35(4):381–412.
  • Ross, Lily Kay and David Nickles. 2021. “The Trials of Rick Doblin.”
  • Ross, Lily Kay and iO Tillett Wright. 2022. “Cover Story: Power Trip.”
  • Todd, Zoe. 2016. “An Indigenous Feminist’s Take On The Ontological Turn: ‘Ontology’ Is Just Another Word For Colonialism.” Journal of Historical Sociology 29(1):4–22.
  • Tuck, Eve and K. Wayne Yang. 2012. “Decolonization Is Not a Metaphor.” Decolonization: Indigeneity, Education & Society 1(1):1–40.
  • Villeneuve, Natalie and D. Prescott. 2022. “Examining the Dark Sides of Psychedelic Therapy.” Association For The Treatment Of Sexual Abusers 34(3):1–12.
  • Williams, Keith, Osiris Sinuhé González Romero, Michelle Braunstein, and Suzanne Brant. 2022. “Indigenous Philosophies and the ‘Psychedelic Renaissance.’” Anthropology of Consciousness 33(2):506–27.

[1] This could be seen in less structured contexts as well such as festivals and small-group ‘trips,’ in which the nature and community aspects, remain. Festival environments also facilitate the healing experience through the structuring aspects of dance and music.

Center the Children: A Manifesto for True Liberation

Today I have the honour of bringing you a guest post written by my colleague and good friend, Rima Dib. She is one of the most powerful and thoughtful community organizers I know. She leads practical anti-oppression workshops and workplace training. We have spent many nights talking into the early morning hours about children’s liberation, and her words are fully endorsed by me. I have added some of my thoughts at the end.

The Epstein Files have made one thing even clearer than it already was. The ultimate victims of all our failed systems and corrupt power is, and has always been, children. It’s well past time to change that. If you are someone who has ever uttered the words “I just don’t like children,” this message is especially for you. But it’s also for everyone, as in the imperial core we have all been raised with some amount of cultural programming that dehumanizes and sidelines kids.

Center the Children: A Manifesto for True Liberation

Every generation tells itself that it loves children, that they are the future, that they deserve better. Yet our actions tell another story. Across every movement that claims to fight for justice, children remain the most neglected constituency.

They are the ultimate victims of violence, exploitation, and neglect, because children are always the ultimate victims of every form of structural violence that exists. They are the most vulnerable, yet the least protected; the most valuable, yet the most expendable. Their lives are shaped by power they do not hold, by institutions they did not design, and by choices they cannot escape.

We are failing them in every imaginable way.

They are trafficked, shot in classrooms, and forced into labour. They are left hungry in rich countries and bombed in poor ones. We poison their bodies through contaminated food and air, and their minds through manipulative media and marketing. Corporations are permitted to profit from childhood itself, selling insecurity, extracting attention, and designing dependency. And we allow it.

Meanwhile, adults openly say things like “I just don’t like kids,” as though that isn’t a form of discrimination. Dehumanizing jokes about kids being “annoying” or a nuisance are made even in spaces where that would be unacceptable to say about any other group of people. But children absorb that disdain while watching a world destroy their safety, their dignity, and their future. Disdain for children becomes complicity in a world where adults are allowed to hit, shoot and bomb kids every day without consequence, and the environment they are inheriting from us—and their future on this planet—is fed into the profit machine.

If liberation movements are to mean anything, whether for climate, equity, race, gender, or disability justice, they must begin and end with children. You cannot create a sustainable society while exploiting its youngest inhabitants. You cannot claim progress while neglecting those who will inherit its consequences.

To center children is not sentimentality; it is systems change. It means crafting policy, economics, and community life through the lens of children’s well-being and agency. It means holding institutions accountable for outcomes that sustain, rather than sacrifice, their future. It is the moral reckoning we have avoided for too long.

A society that fails to protect children can never be just.

A movement that excludes their needs cannot call itself free.

And until we center children fully, fiercely, and without compromise, no liberation is complete.

Every policy, every system, every movement must begin with one question:

What does this mean for the children?

If children are our compass, we will find a just way forward.

A “yes, and!” from Dr. Agro

I believe that a lot of the reason that people block themselves from seeing the full humanity of children, and from letting in the incredible joy that they offer, is the same as why people block themselves from connecting with nature: when you open yourself up to that profound joy, it comes along with a deep sense of anxiety from the realization of what we have been collectively doing to the most beautiful parts of our existence as humans. It is easier to stay blocked off, so you don’t have to reckon with how much control, neglect and violence children are subject to, the role each of us play in perpetuating that, and our responsibility to help fix these problems.

I believe as well that because so many people were treated badly as children, it is physically painful for them to treat children better than they were treated, because to do so means opening yourself up to immense grief for what you deserved but didn’t get. And since that is a pretty serious undertaking, we have very few structures in place to support grief processing and healing, avoidance of these feelings manifests as downplaying and justification: “I went through that and I turned out fine,” “it’s not that big of a deal,” “they’ll get over it,” “kids need to learn that that’s how life is.”

If you’re willing, here are some questions you can ask yourself to begin to center child liberation in your praxis:

Further reading:

  • How often do I interact with children? If rarely or never, why is that?
  • What am I doing to work on my ability to tolerate and welcome the existence of children around me, as their full selves?
  • What can I do to make my social spaces more welcoming to children and their caregivers?
  • What can I do to make my organizing spaces more welcoming to children and their caregivers?
  • How can I factor in the well-being of the environment when making decisions about non-essential purchases?
  • If children in my community were being treated the way children in Palestine are, would my responses be different?

It’s okay if child liberation & family abolition make you uncomfortable. – Dr. Devon Price

The possibilities for child liberation (Current Affairs)

Children as an oppressed class

We cannot have a rational debate about technology.

Because on the whole, leftists are mostly (and rightfully) not all that excited about AI as it exists today, we are often accused of being luddites or hating technology.* But no, I do like some technology. I’m not against it as a concept. We perfected textiles 4,000 years ago. Then we invented books, and vaccines, and those are great. But almost everything else has been based on increasingly ramped-up environmental destruction and labour exploitation, “solving” individual “problems” that only primarily exist because of colonialism in the first place and which thus cannot be solved through more of the same.

So no, I don’t like the robots. But I want you to understand why.

When we’re faced with accusations oh hating technology, I sometimes see people say “hey, we love technology! We love high speed rail and mRNA vaccines!” And sure, we can take their bait and remain always on the defense, having conversations on their terms. But we also absolutely do not have to fall over ourselves saying that we want to hug and kiss technological progress. The onus is on Tech Bros to explain to us why we should be excited about new technology while there are microplastics in every mother’s breast milk and our rivers are drying up. And that’s what we should be hammering home in all of these conversations: the material reality of electronic technology. (Colonizers answer the question of “what are you going to do with this mass produced product when its usable lifespan is up to ensure it doesn’t poison our children’s environment” challenge, difficulty level: impossible.)

However, this is a wedge subject that I don’t think leftists are having enough hard conversations about. I have close friends for whom so much of their comfort, even their creativity, is based in electronic tech that some don’t really seem able to take a sincere, hard look at the environmental and social consequences of a screen-based society at scale, or at what it might be doing to us to let our joy be mediated by products we’re being sold.

Adding even more discomfort to the situation, this issue connects directly with the other two major wedge issues that are deeply unresolved on the left, which are:

  1. Land back: The return of all land to indigenous stewardship.
  2. Child liberation: The prioritization of the well-being of children, those living now and those to come, in every aspect of society and our daily lives.

I for one, do not find it acceptable that in Canada we churn through plastic at an appalling rate because we’re dazzled by consumer advertising and too depressed to cook or sew, and then we send our garbage to choke the air and waters of children in Malaysia. I do not like that.

I don’t think that children in Vietnam deserve to bear the cost of the addiction to immediate gratification that we’ve been given as a trickle-down result of our overlords’ addiction to power and domination.

I don’t think it’s acceptable that we want new gaming systems, so they get poisoned.

I don’t think it’s acceptable to sidestep environmental concerns in discussions of AI. I think it’s vital to not budge one inch on the requirement that “progress” always be measured first through a sustainability lens, and refuse to have conversations about technological merits until those questions are answered to the satisfaction of those of us who want humanity’s great-grandchildren to survive.

Whenever I’m speaking with a tech-optimist liberal or leftist who is suggesting solutions that require the maintenance, or expansion, of personal devices or computer-based infrastructure (e.g., a new game that teaches people about empathy, or an app that helps people find better housing, or any pro-social use of AI), I cautiously ask some version of these questions: “If your solution requires more technology to be manufactured, what should we do with it when it breaks, to ensure it doesn’t poison the environment? Can we focus on building the recycling infrastructure first to handle more production, before we make new stuff? Whose lands will be mined for the resources? Whose water will be used?”

When I try to talk about this, some people shut down. They downplay and dismiss, and use thought-terminating cliches like “well we can’t just go back to living in caves.” And I don’t even blame them for not wanting to think about it. I’m not trying to shame anyone for having screen-based hobbies or hopes. I’m genuinely trying to have real conversations about this. Disconnected as we are from the Earth, from each other, from ritual and song and tradition and children and elders, we have so little that makes us happy. Capitalism gave us little emotion-regulation boxes made by slaves, and we were in too much generational pain to think about the consequences of outsourcing our emotional well-being to the slave boxes, so now the thought of losing our phones causes more distress in our bodies than a tree being cut down in our neighbourhood or a shipment of electronic waste heading for Indonesia. And as AI companies offer yet another “solution” to our collective alienation—don’t worry about why it’s so difficult to find someone who understands you, just become dependent on the robot, it’ll always be nice to you!—we are too ungrounded from the earth to see that AI is not revolutionary, it’s not a game changer, it’s just more of the same transmutation of the Earth’s resources into dissociation from centuries of colonial trauma. We are collectively making out with a gun to feel better. We are being sold more poison as a cure for the poison.

This is why all my organizing work comes back to healing. We are too traumatized to be in real solidarity with the global south. We cannot actually have rational debates about technology, because our ability to reason is compromised by the fantasy world we live in where the material consequences of our actions don’t exist where we don’t see them. We need to fix our inner shit for those conversations to even be possible. I simply don’t really trust any opinion about the value of technological “progress” that comes from someone addicted to the fruits of capitalist technological progress, any more than I trust a billionaire’s opinion about money or a gambler’s opinion about casinos. If you can’t imagine life without your computer, then you’d better start imagining life where electronics are not produced through exploitation and Congo has complete sovereignty over their mineral production, so we can bring that world into reality.**

As it stands, as long as we’re still clinging to mass-produced trinkets for our sense of stability, we will prioritize those coping mechanisms over the well-being of the world’s children. As long as we rely on screens rather than on forests and sunsets to soothe us, we will fight to defend the screens, not the forests. Whatever you get your comfort from, that is what you will fight to defend.

If AI is your friend and therapist, maintaining that “relationship” is what you are going to centre in these struggles. If screens are our ultimate solace, we’ll let the forests burn. We’re doing it right now. The machine is churning to feed us.

We have got to divest from these poisoned crutches, beloveds.

I am included in this as well. Screens have been my primary addiction for years. PC gaming got me through some very hard times in my youth, when I didn’t have the emotional resources I do now, and I still binge Dropout and Drag Race when I need to rest but don’t have the energy for the truly restorative shit (stretching, drinking tea, journalling, singing). But I know in my heart that screen-based coping mechanisms are a pause button for life, built on our own exploitation and sold back to us, and I feel secure enough now to confront that reality and slowly change through my actions.

Divesting from colonial comforts has been my main motivation and compass for healing over the last decade: to root my sense of self, the groundedness and love and compassion that all my activism and caregiving come from, within nature, the elements, and nature-based spirituality. Nature, the source that unites us all as living creatures on this earth, is the only thing that’s always there for us. Nature will not break up with you, nature will not call the cops on you. Nature will not leave you without entertainment when the wifi isn’t working, she will never lie to or gaslight or manipulate you. Mother Earth is pissed right now, but she will never abandon us, and she will not die before we do. She will be alive as long as you are, because your life depends on hers. She is the only truly safe attachment, the only comfort that is always, always there for us. Those of us who are settlers and immigrants and renters and workers have had our connection to the Earth, our secure attachment, severed, and we’ve been doing a Domination about it for centuries: suffering and looting and pillaging and fighting, trying to fill the void in our hearts that started with internal European colonization and separation from the animist spirituality and philosophies of our ancestors (the ones that lived sustainably with their environment, not the later ones that burned each other at the stake for saying the exact same things I’m saying right now. I know that much of what I’ve said here is probably deeply uncomfortable, so thanks for engaging with it instead of sending an inquisition after me, babes).

We can’t wait for revolution—or god forbid, corporations—to provide us with sustainable comforts. They exist right now, in nature and in our communities: song circles, mediation groups, forests, playgrounds, birdwatching collectives, plant medicines, festivals, witchcraft, community gardens.

The revolution we crave will not come until we reconnect with those basics of human flourishing, and with ourselves.

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. I’ve compiled a ton of free resources here. If you REALLY want to get down and dirty with that decolonial life, join my Patreοn to get access to exclusive patrons-only writing and videos, including my PhD dissertation, which was embargoed by my university for being too politically spicy. If you’re on a healing journey, you can consult with me about psychedelic use.

If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! This topic is deeply important but it makes people very uncomfortable, so it never gets as much reach as my more palatable “screw billionaires” stuff. But we need to talk about it.

Here are three ways to say thank you, and support this work:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me a straight-up cash tip if you’re baller like that

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young munchkins who are currently both obsessed with fart jokes.

*In this article I am not going to give in to the temptation to do an Academia and focus on the definition(s) of technology (which is about as hard to define concretely as art), and how we in the global north tend to conflate “technology” with “electronics” when it actually means, anthropologically speaking, the application of conceptual knowledge to achieve practical goals, and the tools, instruments, machines, systems, processes, and environments developed by humans to accomplish tasks, which means that shoes and forks are as much technology as the Large Hadron Collider. I find that to be a fascinating subject, especially as someone who has developed a recent interest in textiles as technology and art and the ways textiles have been devalued due to their association with feminized labour. But I have to pick up my kids in a few hours and I cannot make this article my whole-ass day. Resist, I tell myself. Stay on target.

**If anyone has come across writing from a decolonial, non-anthropocentric, Indigenous-centered worldview about how solving “problems” (using this term loosely because most of the problems modern tech purports to solve are not real and/or are actually structural things like us not having enough time or enough emotional and healing support) with plastic and electronic tech is actually fine, please link it to me. I don’t see many leftist tech nerds fighting for, or even really talking about, divesting from our reliance on electronics, or creating a movement towards local electronics recycling and manufacturing, or any other solution that would mitigate the massive environmental concerns while letting us keep our screens. But I have to optimistically assume I’m just not exposed to it. I know the tech nerds don’t like my solution (rapidly phase out the use of all plastics and electronics that aren’t 100% sustainable and 90% locally produced), so let’s go comrades, what are yours?

Men are not trash.

Men are not trash. Perpetuating that narrative helps normalize rape culture by making it seem like it’s just inherent to their nature. It’s not.

I know why a lot of women and enbies say this, and I share their frustration, rage and pain. And yet, we still have to contend with the situation if we want to fix it: men are full human beings deserving of care and understanding, even the ones who do the most harm. The social system of patriarchal masculinity is what’s trash, and it hurts men too. But thankfully, systems made by humans can always be unmade. We can change anything that we collectively want to change.

If you’re a women or non-binary person and what I’ve said so far is creating a response in your body that feels really bad—if you feel defensive or angry thoughts bubbling to the surface—I invite you to read something else that makes you feel powerful and uplifted instead. I write from an abolitionist perspective focused on collective liberation, and it’s not my intention to fuel more disconnection. But I also have enough respect for the fellow working-class people I am writing for that I have a commitment to communicating from an honest place, even when I know it cannot be received by everyone at all times. I’ve written a bit more at the end of this article to explain what I’m doing here, and address some concerns that often come up from women. Anyone who feels mostly okay, or who is up for a bit of challenge, a bit of stretching: please read on.

Humans are all born prosocial creatures, it’s how we’re wired to survive. We are primates who live in groups because we die if we’re on our own. We are literally not biologically equipped for individualism. That means that every member of our species, Homo sapiens, is born with instincts that guide them towards relationality as a core survival mode. We need other people, and we need a healthy environment to provide us with water, air, food and shelter. Acknowledging our place in this ecosystem is the core of relationality.

It takes a lot to program a human to hate, fear and dominate others, but several thousand years of internal and then external European colonization managed to do it, and now children in the settler colonies of North America on Turtle Island are raised with experiences that enforce those unnatural values on them from day one: blind obedience to authority, chronically ignoring our bodies, strict gender role enforcement. We are told, over and over, to ignore the signs our bodies are telling us in favour of external control: get up, eat what you’re given, sit still, listen, don’t whine, don’t cry, stop running so much, stop laughing so loud, don’t play with that, go to bed right now. You’re tired when it’s time to wake up? Too bad. You’re energetic when it’s time for bed? Too bad. You’re hungry or sad at the wrong time? The adults around you are too stressed to have space for that. And they are genuinely doing the absolute best that they can with the limited financial and/or emotional resources that they have.

“Men,” as in the flesh-and-blood human beings that are our brothers in the world, are not the problem. I will keep saying this until my dying breath, because we will not fix these problems until we start seeing them as systemic more than individual. If we change the system, and reconnect to ourselves and others, men—and all of us—will heal.

Our ancestors knew that systems were the danger, and knew the power and potential that humans have to harm and destroy, and had many different cultural strategies in place for managing it (many of which are explored in the excellent podcast The Emerald). Colonialism replaced collective ritual with authoritarian religions, schools, money, screens. There is a reason men are not okay.

I work with people to help them set up solo psychedelic healing journeys, and my clients are mostly men. It’s so jarring coming from sessions where men are pouring their hearts out, working so hard to heal for the sake of themselves and their loved ones, and then go online and see the discourse just dump shit all over them.

Generational trauma runs very, very deep. Things have been awry for a long time. We subject boys, literal children, to the most unimaginably dehumanizing conditions at a massive cultural scale in the imperial core, and then we participate in the same dehumanizing dynamics that are hurting us all by calling them pieces of shit for not fighting off structural forces when they were 7.

Men can and do heal, including men who’ve done severe harm. The rest of us (who all, in the imperial core, participate in harmful systems) can as well, and when we do, all of this becomes easier. It feels so much better in my body to practice loving everyone than it did to selectively fear, resent and hate people. It makes me a better organizer, a better teacher, a better parent, a better friend.

Decolonial animist spirituality, for the brave

Here, I am compelled to nudge us towards rediscovering the animist worldviews of our European (and African, and Asian) ancestors, and of almost all Indigenous cultures throughout history and still today. I don’t talk about this as much as I want to, especially considering how profoundly it’s changed my own well-being for the better, because I know a lot of people aren’t ready for it. But it is the missing piece that allows for a more holistic embrace of systems thinking at the level of the body, not just the mind.

Humans are fundamentally pro-social, but our actions and potential are shaped by spiritual forces (or systems if you’re nasty*). Once you understand this, it becomes much easier to blame the forces that are feeding off our disconnection and hatred, rather than individual humans, or lumped-together groups of people like men, themselves. (Important side note: you can absolutely view this as a metaphor if the idea of spirits makes you uncomfortable. I encourage you to free yourself from the objectivist trap of focusing on the materialist scientific “truth” of this worldview, and instead think about it as a framework through which to view social dynamics. I come from a deeply skeptical, evidence-based mindset, and animism is just as compatible with that as other philosophical frameworks, such as Marxist theory or feminism, that rely on material evidence but are not testable and universally replicable using the scientific method. The scientific method is an essential tool for many problems, but it is limited in its scope, and it cannot be the only tool in our collective toolbox. In sum, I use sage and have an altar, and I am also abundantly vaccinated.)

I will expand on decolonial animist spirituality in future writing and videos, but all I’ll say for now is: When you have 200,000+ years of our ancestors thriving and saying “this is how the world works and these are the things that must be done to ensure the well-being of our people and all living beings,” how are you gonna say “no actually, YOU’RE the ignorant morons” with a straight face as our environment collapses around us and everyone is miserable?

“All beings have an innate spiritual aliveness that connects us? Haha, no, I think me as a white lady from the most fucked up society that’s ever existed knows more than you, thank you very much.” – Me before plant medicines and serious engagement with Indigenous philosophy humbled my colonized ass.

Before I keep going, I just want to encourage you to share this article with someone else if it has felt insightful (maybe even keep it handy for the next time you see someone call men trash), because I’m an independent educator who lives at the whim of billionaire-funded algorithms and it’s hard to break through that shit, okay thank you I love you, on we go.

What to do?

So, what can we do about this situation we’re in?

If you do feel ready to do this deep, difficult, rewarding work of movement-building without individualism and shaming, here are my suggestions. But first, I want to express my gratitude to you, because it’s really, really hard to push past the anger we’ve been trained to target at our fellow human beings enough to do this. Most people are not resourced enough for it. I struggle with it all the time!

Step one is to figure out which of your identities makes you best suited to talk to other people with that same identity. As much as it sucks, I have to accept that white people are more likely to listen to me than the Black and Indigenous people I have learned from, so I talk to them. It’s a responsibility, but also an opportunity. Men, talk to other men. Straight people, talk to other heteros. Religious people, talk to others in your faith. Non-Indigenous people, talk to other settlers. Most of all, working class people, talk to each other about class issues! (Class is generally the most productive place to focus your efforts in my opinion, because it’s the great uniter, and the reason we were divided against each other by capitalists in the first place. But it has to be grounded in decolonization as well.)

Encouraging men to start a men’s group, or starting one yourself, is a hugely beneficial thing to do. Make sure the stated and practiced values of the group are decolonial, feminist and anti-oppressive.

Here are five resources I suggest to start with to build these communication and organizing skills. None are perfect, all are just tools in a toolbox. Pick whichever interests you, leave anything you don’t feel aligned with.

1) Nonviolent communication training: an incredible resource for learning how to talk to and connect with people using a non-authoritarian approach. (This is where I learned to identify how often people interpret suggestions and requests as demands, a quick way to see how unresolved trauma functions to hamstring our movements.) The intro training is free on Spotify.

2) Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba: practical advice for organizing and activism, and how to make hope something that you build with others.

3) Maybe I’m cheating by calling this one a single resource, but it’s just too good! Interrupting Criminalization has got so much! Use it all, share it all! They are amazing!

4) There are many writers, artists and educators doing great work on positive masculinity. Healthy Gamer (Dr. Alok Kanojia) is a great resources, and Shaun does amazing work speaking to and about young white men from a critical but also humanizing perspective. Here’s another of his videos. I have also started making videos about this, such as Men Are Not Trash and Seven Ways Society is Unfair to Men.

5) If the stuff about animist spirituality above intrigued you and you’re ready to go deeper and see how spirituality is an essential component to integrate in order to combat the appeal of fundamentalist cults, then listen to The Emerald podcast. “Oh Justice” is a relevant episode, but listen to any that pique your interest. My favourite is “Snail Juice.”

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

This article is also available as a video essay.

I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. I’ve compiled a ton of free resources here. If you REALLY want to get down and dirty with that decolonial life, join my Patreοn to get access to exclusive patrons-only writing and videos, including my PhD dissertation, which was embargoed by my university for being too politically spicy. If you’re on a healing journey, you can consult with me about psychedelic use.

If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! Here are three ways to say thank you, and support me doing more of it:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me a straight-up cash tip if you’re baller like that

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young children.

*this is a queer culture joke, just disregard if it makes no sense lol

A note for skeptical women

In my outreach work, I often get women responding saying that they feel like they are expected to fix men, saying “it’s not my job to do that,” “I shouldn’t be expected to help men who’ve done nothing but hurt me,” things like that. Honestly, that’s extremely valid! I want to make it clear right now that it is absolutely not your job and no one expects you to do that. But it is my job! I’ve taken on this task willingly. When you read an article or watch a video of mine about men, you’re seeing me at work doing this on behalf of us. 😊

So I feel what you’re saying in my heart, and I think it’s very reasonable for you to focus on yourself and your healing, limit contact with people and conversations that hurt too much, and take all the space you need. Myself and other people can do this particular work for the collective, and you can contribute to the broader movement for liberation in whatever ways you’re able to, and trust us to carry the rest. ❤️

So don’t worry, I’m doing it for us as we speak so that you don’t have to! I’ve got this! Get some tea and enjoy some well deserved rest, beloved. The only thing I am asking women and enbies to do, if you’re not up for outreach work but do want to be supportive, is to please not make my job harder by venting your justified anger at men you don’t know online. In my work, I try to create a space for men to feel safe to talk about their experiences and work through some unlearning they’re doing around various oppressive structures. It makes my job harder when women and enbies come at those men in my comments sections for being a little bit confused about minor things when they overall mean well, and are on a journey. People can’t learn when they feel like making a small mistake will result in judgement, mockery and criticism. I want them to feel safe engaging with my work. When I taught at the university level, I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been for my students if they’d had someone jumping on every poorly articulated thought. Processing out loud, including in writing, is an essential part of learning.

My work is grounded in abolitionist ethics: approaches to conflict, crisis, violence and disagreement that reject punishment and coercion and instead centre collaboration, the transformation of conflict into opportunities for growth, and flexibility/experimentation. This is rooted in a deep engagement with Black and Indigenous feminists. I am interested, most of all, in material change. In all of my work, I ask the question: What actually works? What is effective?

I have not seen much evidence that shaming people works. But I have seen lots of evidence that offering compassion, understanding and respect is an effective way to create the human connection that is required for learning and growth to happen.

To maintain a safe environment, I have had to block a few particularly hostile people who were responding to multiple men on my videos lashing out at them, and I really don’t like doing that. So please help me out by keeping the venting to those spaces where it won’t be seen by men struggling to free themselves from the mental chains that have been imposed on them—ideally with your girlfriends in the group chat.

Why do I trust men to be able to change?

Because over my years of doing this work, I’ve heard from hundreds of men who’ve talked about the changes they’ve made and the gratitude they feel for the people who held space for them while they worked through things, including when they still had some propagandized beliefs. (I talk about this in the YouTube video I made on this topic, it actually made me emotional.) I also try to remember that bot farms whose entire purpose is to sow discontent are real. But mostly, through my own healing I have found that approaching everyone with compassion just feels best in my body, and as a point of personal and abolitionist values (and based on my education and personal experiences) I hold the belief that everyone is doing their best and the core of harmful behaviour is just fear. ❤️

Shaming fascists: Not enough, or too much?

I can’t stop thinking about anthropologist Michael Taussig’s book Shamanism, Colonialism and the Wild Man about the terror of the rubber trade in Colombia. In it, he describes how colonizers wantonly tortured Putumayo workers, with violence becoming a culture in itself, for its own sake. Like it was a sunk cost they couldn’t escape.

Every violent step they took trapped them in a cycle where stopping would mean they’d have to reckon with what they’d done, and the shame was too great, so they’d dig deeper, go even darker.

I think about this all the time when I think about Ӏsraeӏ. And about ӀCE. I often see people saying that capitalists/colonizers, and their footsoldiers of state violence, have no shame. But I think it’s exactly the opposite.

The mayor of a Nazi concentration camp town killed himself when he could no longer run away from the reality he’d contributed to. That is overpowering shame in action. (Source)

I think they spend every waking second pushing an ocean of shame down. I think it drives everything they do. We know this about how narcissism—which is entirely a product of early childhood trauma—functions. Dehumanizing others goes against our prosocial human nature. The core of their being, way deep down, knows that harming others is wrong. That leads to shame, which, in the absence of support for healing and contextualizing their trauma (including the trauma accumulated in the body from harming others), eats people from the inside out. Shame is an important human emotion to keep us from harming one another, but it’s an incredibly powerful one that is meant to be used extremely sparingly to align people to the collective good. Shame is like spicy flavour: keep it away from small children, and use it only as part of a complex balance of different flavours, not the whole-ass meal. Love is the vegetables, the carbs, the protein. We’re so deeply malnourished.

Organized Christianity, for all its well-meaning aspects and the good deeds of many of its more humble adherents, turned shame into a whole lifestyle, teaching people that we’re fundamentally broken and bad. “What’s wrong with you?” is thrown around like confetti in our culture. When you start seeing it, you can’t unsee it. Patriarchal power brokers in the early days of co-opting pagan spirituality towards monotheistic control couldn’t deal with the shame of owning slaves and treating women and children as property, so they took the culturally existing pan-Indigenous animist beliefs in everyone as fundamentally beautiful manifestations of spirit (good, helpful) and twisted that into “everyone is fundamentally saveable, but only if you submit to the will of this one angry god, as defined by us, and the power structures that we’re in charge of.”

Maybe fascists have no remorse, or some other word that describes their willingness to confront their own wrongdoing on a surface level. But I think, at their deepest core, they’re so full of shame that it leaks out of them like acid. They loathe themselves more than anyone around them ever could, so much that they’re barely alive. They are disconnected from what love would even feel like, because they don’t think they deserve it. Their bodies learned that in childhood, from parents passing down generational trauma through neglect and abuse, and/or from a patriarchal colonizer culture that cut them off from the aliveness of nature around them, from spirit, from joy, from kinship, from connection, from their own humanity. And most people around them today, including all of us, continue to tell them that they deserve nothing but pain and punishment. There are very few people saying to them “you’re human, you’re doing your best to fit in and survive in a fucked-up society that taught you that violence and domination are how to do that, and you have the capacity to heal, change and be happier.”

This is why I feel like something is deeply missing from our understanding of fascist violence, the larger structures that create and support it, and especially from conversations about what to do about it. How do we move forward if dehumanizing our oppressors in turn is the only move we have space for? If vengeance is all we can think about?

Many of us are exposed, and contribute, to social media discourse wherein the average conversation doesn’t go farther than “those guys are bad people who need to be punished.” I crave more than this type of in-group soothing of ourselves as being the Good Guys. In the offline organizing spaces I participate in, I do get deeper conversations about what we should actually, practically do about all this, and I strongly encourage people to join organizations in your community to be exposed to that kind of genuine worldbuilding. I just want to believe we can do better in online spaces as well, because it’s where so many people get all their information.

Colonizers, especially those attracted to positions of power and violence like certain frosty agents of the state, are acting from deep generational trauma and disconnection from nature and relationality that goes back centuries, and I don’t think we’ll stop the cycle until we reckon with that. (Read my dissertation for a thorough discussion of this issue.)

So, what can we do about this situation?

If you do feel ready to do this deep, difficult, rewarding work of movement-building without shame, here are my suggestions. But first, I want to express my gratitude to you, because it’s really, really hard to push past the anger enough to do this. Most people are not resourced enough for it. I struggle with it all the time!

Step one is to identify which of your identities makes you best suited to talk to other people with that same identity. As much as it sucks, I have to accept that white people are more likely to listen to me than the Black and Indigenous people I have learned from, so I talk to them. It’s a responsibility, but also an opportunity. Men, talk to other men. Straight people, talk to other heteros. Religious people, talk to others in your faith. Non-Indigenous people, talk to other settlers. Most of all, working class people, talk to each other about class issues! (Class is generally the most productive place to focus your efforts in my opinion, because it’s the great uniter, and the reason we were divided against each other by capitalists in the first place. But it has to be grounded in decolonization as well.)

Here are five resources I suggest to start with to build these communication and organizing skills. None are perfect, all are just tools in a toolbox. Pick whichever interests you, leave anything you don’t feel aligned with.

1) Nonviolent communication training: an incredibly resource for learning how to talk to and connect with people using a non-authoritarian approach. (This is where I learned to identify how often people interpret suggestions and requests as demands, a quick way to see how unresolved trauma functions to hamstring our movements.)

2) Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba: practical advice for organizing and activism, and how to make hope something that you build with others.

3) Maybe I’m cheating by calling this one a single resource, but it’s just too good! Interrupting Criminalization has got so much! Use it all, share it all! They are amazing!

4) Shaun does amazing work speaking to and about young white men from a critical but also humanizing perspective. Here’s another of his videos, and more resources I’ve compiled for fostering positive masculinity.

5) This one is a bit of a spicier recommendation, but if you’re ready to go even deeper and see how spirituality is an essential component we need to integrate in order to combat the appeal of fundamentalist cults, then listen to The Emerald podcast. “Oh Justice” is a relevant episode, but listen to any that pique your interest. My favourite is “Snail Juice.”

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. I’ve compiled a ton of free resources here. If you REALLY want to get down and dirty with that decolonial life, join my Patreοn to get access to exclusive patrons-only writing and videos, including my PhD dissertation, which was embargoed by my university for being too politically spicy. If you’re on a healing journey, you can consult with me about psychedelic use.

If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! Here are three ways to say thank you, and support me doing more of it:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me some cash I can use to pay rent

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young children.

Big tents: Normies joining the movement for liberation

Liberals—defined as people with progressive social beliefs who generally support capitalism implicitly because they don’t know what it is or because they have a poor understanding of it, ie. those who believe “sexism and homophobia are bad but land ownership is good”—are not going to save us. No movement against fascism will ever succeed if it’s not led by the left, because fascism is capitalism in crisis. Yes, it is our job on the left to help people see this. No, we cannot sit back and let liberals call the shots.

But, can we let liberals into the movement for liberation? The question itself, though I see it discussed a lot, is misleading: in the end, no one is in charge. There’s no lineup with a broad-chested trans masc аntifа supersoldier holding a velvet rope making sure no one who’s ever said “well people taking advantage of welfare is a problem” gets in (believe me, I wish it were that easy). This is a decentralized, often organic movement. Libs are finding their way into it by being radicalized by what they’re seeing in their communities, thanks to the repulsive buffoons that run the American Gеstapο. And that’s great! That’s what we want! We should be excited by all the newly energized soccer moms and Formula 1 dads taking to the streets. But wait… They’re bringing with them some beliefs and practices that are counterproductive to the fight for liberation. Some have questions about trans women in sports, some believe that certain settler colonies have a right to exist. Not great! But also, inevitable, because we were all raised in a shitty, settler colonial system that kept us hidden from the truth of our interconnectedness at all costs.

The tent should be big. It has to be, in order to build enough working class power to challenge capitalism. But we must use this big tent to shelter people while we help them see that all our struggles are connected. Liberalism cannot be anything more than a temporary stepping stone that people go through in their journey towards anti-capitalism, guided by those who understand class, race, gender, and other intersections of oppression.

There are many critiques of the rigid purity politics on the left, where we put extremely strict ideological demands on others in order to be willing to work with them, and are quick to label anyone who doesn’t live up to our standards as problematic, sexist, racist etc, and thus not welcome in our revolution. Some of those critiques are in bad faith, coming from loud centrist political pundits who actually just want to browbeat the left into submission to make us vote for capitalist political candidates who will perform civility and throw our most vulnerable neighbours under the bus to hold onto the crumbling fantasy of peace that our white supremacist nations are built on. However, just because some of the critiques are in bad faith does not make it a non-issue. Demanding ideological purity is a problem on the left. And it’s because we don’t want to take on the responsibility of teaching and helping propagandized but well-meaning people. It’s hard and we’re tired, so instead we want people to show up already educated. That’s not a path to winning.

We don’t have enough conversations about who is going to take on the work of deprogramming well-meaning working class people who’ve been conned into prejudice. We don’t even like to admit that that work is necessary, because it’s scary to confront how complex and imperfect your average fellow human is. People can be really kind, and believe in the value and dignity of other humans, and also believe that “if you work hard you’ll succeed” or “things were fine before Тrump, he’s the problem,” both obviously false statements. Very few people are actually fixed in their beliefs and committed to their bigotry, but since that category of people provides an easy out from doing the work of helping them, we broadly lump everyone who’s remotely frustrating into that category, call it a day, and go rot in doomerism.

I do understand why people respond to those Big Tent “purity politics” critiques with “oh so you want us to let racists/transphobes into the movement,” because for a lot of liberal pundits who specialize in punching left, that essentially is what they want. They want to think of themselves as progressive, they want to be seen as one of the cool kids who’s against the status quo, but they also want to keep their cushy positions within the status quo. They want to have their cake and eat it too. They don’t understand that the climate crisis is coming for all of us, and they are stuck in a constructed reality of denial where they believe America, or Canada, or England, or wherever state they’re from that’s built on a foundation of genocide and upheld by militarized borders and imperialism abroad, is fundamentally good and all we need is the right people at the top of this house of cards and we can all go back to brunch. They don’t realize that the only reason they have positions of influence at all is that they’re useful idiots for the people in power.

So fuck that, obviously. But at the same time, when we zoom out on the purity politics issue and stop using labels as a way to dehumanize people… A broad working class movement is going to necessarily include people who haven’t deprogrammed all their prejudices.

You and I haven’t deprogrammed all of ours! How can we expect more of others than ourselves?

You likely have some fatphobia rattling around in there. Maybe some drug user stigma, some sanism, prejudice against children, probably lots of ableism. Almost certainly, unless you’re Indigenous or have been working HARD at decolonizing, you’ve got anthropocentrism.

You’re also still whole and valued. You are as essential to the movement for liberation as every other working class person. You’re a good person who cares, who was harmed and misled by the systems that hid these issues and others’ experiences from you. Just like the Resist lib who reveres the founding fathers or thinks we need cοps.

As someone who has been working for nearly two decades on building coalitions among different liberation-minded groups, and who wrote my PhD dissertation on this exact topic, it always feels very ironic and frustrating to see the impatience leftists have for some forms of ignorance and prejudice, while openly displaying others themselves. Sometimes literally at the same time! “That politician must be crazy/smoking crack.” “Put that person in prison for life!” Like, come on man, you’re killing me here.

But I understand that people are always doing their best, and the propaganda system is more well-funded than we can even imagine. That’s how good people are at heart and how oriented we naturally are towards each other; it takes billions of dollars and a vast, massive system to try to convince us otherwise, and it still hasn’t fully worked!

So we could all benefit from practicing way, way more humility and grace in movement-building work, and seeing others as propagandized and in need of guidance, rather than bad and deserving punishment/ostracism. If they mean well, help them do better.

Also, it’s highkey super useful to have pussy hat libs walking around calling themselves antifa. It takes the heat off of us! We need them muddying the waters of who the target for suppression should be!

So, what can we do?

If you do feel ready to do this deep, difficult, rewarding work of movement-building, here are my suggestions. But first, I want to express my gratitude to you, because it’s honestly REALLY fucking hard to push past the anger enough to do this. Most people are not resourced enough for it. I struggle with it all the time!

Identify which of your identities makes you best suited to talk to other people with that same identity. As much as it sucks, I have to talk to white people because they are more likely to listen to me than the Black and Indigenous people I have learned from. It’s a responsibility, but also an opportunity. Men, talk to other men. Straight people, talk to other heteros. Religious people, talk to others in your faith. Non-Indigenous people, talk to other settlers. Most of all, working class people, talk to each other about class issues! (Class is generally the most productive place to focus your efforts in my opinion, because it’s the great uniter, and the reason we were divided against each other by capitalists in the first place.)

Here are five resources I suggest to start with to build these communication and organizing skills. None are perfect, all are just tools in a toolbox. Pick whichever interests you, leave anything you don’t feel aligned with.

1) Nonviolent communication training: an incredibly resource for learning how to talk to and connect with people using a non-authoritarian approach. (This is where I learned to identify how often people interpret suggestions and requests as demands, a quick way to see how unresolved trauma functions to hamstring our movements.)

2) Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba: practical advice for organizing and activism, and how to make hope something that you build with others.

3) Maybe I’m cheating by calling this one a single resource, but it’s just too good! Interrupting Criminalization has got so much! Use it all, share it all! They are amazing!

4) Shaun does amazing work speaking to and about young white men from a critical but also humanizing perspective. Here’s another of his videos, and more resources I’ve compiled for fostering positive masculinity.

5) This one is a bit of a spicier recommendation, but if you’re ready to go even deeper and see how spirituality is an essential component we need to integrate in order to combat the appeal of fundamentalist cults, then listen to The Emerald podcast. “Oh Justice” is a relevant episode, but listen to any that pique your interest. My favourite is “Snail Juice.”

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

Hi, I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. It makes me very little money, but if I get enough supporters, I can do it full time. If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! Here are three ways to say thank you, and support me doing more of it:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me some cash I can use to pay rent

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young children.

Can people with bad political beliefs change?

“They should know better.”

Well, they don’t. What now?

I see a lot of rhetoric these days about how certain people in certain political cults–oh, you know the ones–are beyond saving. This is often applied extremely broadly, to anyone who has voted a certain way or espoused certain beliefs, even if they also hold other contradictory beliefs (which, like it or not, most people do). They’re lumped together and called “they” with no room for complexity or exceptions. They are like this, they are like that, they won’t listen, they are bad people.

When we say that people can’t change, that is not leftism. It implies one of two things: 1) a carceral approach, or 2) a doomerist approach. Because it essentially means either 1) we have to lock those people up (or worse) because they’re unfixable–ironically, the exact same authoritarian dehumanizing rhetoric They use about Us, except it’s fine because we’re good and correct. Or 2) there’s nothing we can do and we should just give up.

When we don’t make any space to allow for people to change and reintegrate into community, then we are guaranteeing that they will choose the more viable option for their social survival, which is to continue on the fаscist path that they’re going on, surrounded by other people who are doing that shit. We are also playing right into the hands of capitalists, who fucking love it when we see each other as Democrats, Republicans, Liberals and Conservatives rather than working class people. They’re roaring with laughter at us inside their skull-lined caverns full of gold coins, while we stand outside the castle yelling at each other instead of turning to face them.

There’s a weird situation on the left where people believe a lifelong gang member can be reformed, but not a conservative. (It’s possible I’m overestimating how many people are abolitionists who even believe the first one, but I like to hope we’re further along than that.) The reality is that there’s plenty of evidence for both: people who have done harm or believed harmful things can and do change.

This is an essential subject to talk about, because we badly need information from those who escaped right wing cults so we can understand how they draw people in, and intervene in that process. We need stories of people who were raised conservative coming around to realize that they’ve been lied to. We need to practice talking to people who have contradictory, misguided, propagandized beliefs in order to build a viable working class movement. If you appreciate the political work of literally any person who is white or a man, you can thank the people who helped them deconstruct the beliefs and behaviours they grew up with. When we foster an environment in which people are shamed and shunned for being honest about their deprogramming journey, we are depriving ourselves of an incredibly important resource.

It’s emotionally easier to believe that other people can’t change, because changing them is exhausting work and most of our experience with that is with family members, strangers online and other people who are seemingly irredeemably stubborn. But it’s also exhausting partly because we’re using the wrong tools for the job. We’re wildly under-resourced, and that’s been done to us on purpose: centuries of domination, forced competition, trauma, traditional lifeways and practices stolen and coerced and beaten out of us. But we still want to try, because we’re desperate. So we use the tools we were given by the same shitty society we’re trying to change: shame, judgement, berating, dominance, arguing, dehumanization, bad faith interpretations. We don’t first put the work in to build a trusting, mutually respectful relationship. We don’t try to really understand where another person is coming from, see their pain and struggle, and meet them where they’re at. That’s an uphill battle when we’re so starved for recognition ourselves. It feels unfair to have to be the one to offer empathy first. So instead of trying to bridge the gap and connect, we non-consensually shove facts and logic at them, call them bad people, tell them they’re wrong and problematic, vent our anger and disgust. We expect that to work, because we’re exhausted and we want it to. Then we get mad at them when they’re defensive and repulsed. They then go back to the people they feel safe with, the people who don’t challenge them in any way and have politics that are ecocidal but who also make them feel accepted and cared for in some way, and we throw up our hands and say “see? These people refuse to change!”

Parenting has been the most shocking, revolutionary experience I’ve had in a lifetime of learning. It’s like seeing into the Matrix: everything adults do that is annoying and dangerous is just something that wasn’t intervened in with empathy in childhood. For example: my 4-year-old does not want to wash her hands. It is the hill she is determined to die on, every single day, and it’s not an optional part of life. I am absolutely sick of it. It feels like I’ve tried everything, and I can feel the exhaustion taking over when I am tempted to just grab her hands and wash them for her while she screams. But force does not create healthy development. Just because I think she should know better, doesn’t make it so. Just because it would be easier for me if she just did what I told her to do, doesn’t make that actually happen. We spend a lot of time wishing reality were different, which stops us from seeing things as they are, and working with them. This is a form of healing that I’ve learned from plant medicines and Buddhism, and it’s made me a better parent and a better organizer. Instead, I strive to understand my 4-year-old’s aversion. She is probably also exhausted from a day spent being told what to do at school. She has sensory sensitivities and the soap is slimy. She is wired for play and novelty, and washing your hands sucks and is boring. If I understand where she’s coming from, I can help meet both our needs by turning handwashing into a game, or . Do I want to make a goddamn game out of handwashing when it’s 9 pm and I just want her to go to bed? Fuck no. Is it still good practice to try, whenever I can? Yes! Because when I push myself to do things that are tiring but align with my values, all sorts of benefits arise that I otherwise am blocking myself from. It feels better in my soul. I’m connecting with my kid, I’m connecting with my own joy. I never regret at least trying.

When we try using our same old tactics to change people, and fail, and decide that they must be unfixable, we are depriving ourselves of an opportunity to learn from the situation and better hone the most important tool of all—determining who is too far gone to be worth the energy vs. who can be brought around, and focusing on the latter group. We end up with a self-fulfilling prophesy of “nothing can be done,” retreating further and further into the safety of only engaging with people we deem to be Good who have our exact same politics. Which leaves everyone else, all the imperfect, lost, confused, lonely, well-meaning people who’ve been heavily propagandized and raised in a dysfunctional, racist and capitalist society, wide open to being scooped up by the people who are willing to or are paid to scoop them up.

It’s not working, fam. I want liberation and I’m willing to humble myself and try any tactic. I don’t want to look my kids in the eye as the ecosystem collapses and say “sorry, I was going to do everything I could but emotionally regulating myself enough to have frustrating conversations and choosing where to spend my energy wisely was too far.”

One of the problems, and it’s one I am complicit in, is that rather than focusing on fаscіst dogwhistles or racist microaggressions or sexist tropes or people who voted for X politician–specific behaviours that people engage in–we frequently use terms like right-winger or racist or misogynist. People are always more complex than whatever label we give them. This entire project becomes much easier if we see our fellow working-class people as people rather than as identities or labels. Labels can be useful as shorthand, and I’m certainly not against calling the most obvious and dangerous cases what they are–for example, JK Rowling is a transphobe. But labels are inherently flattening and dehumanizing, and dependence on them is dangerous. We risk eventually believing through repetition that the labels are reflective of objective reality, where reality is always more complex than any label can describe.

As always, by communicating all of this, I am not saying you personally have to do anything. You don’t have to personally fix your MAGA uncle or coddle Yahtzees. If that’s what you think I’m saying, then there’s a fundamental communication disconnect, so please feel free to go do whatever aligns with your values. What I am doing here is offering information and suggestions to better inform and hone our tactics on the left. This is for people who are committed to movement-building praxis and are interested in challenging themselves. Building a working-class movement requires us to engage with people who have all sorts of weird and incongruous beliefs; any seasoned organizer can tell you this. 100% of the people we need to talk to in order to grow the movement are not yet radicalized into liberationist politics. Most people are not hardcore white supremacists with a coherent worldview. They don’t realize that their weird misgivings about trans people or their reflexive defenses of Taylor Swift are a result of a colonial/capitalist project designed to turn them against their own interests. And personally, I don’t ever want to have so much confidence that I’m one of the Good and Correct ones that I support a system in which we have to lock the Bad and Wrong people up (or worse). The leopards will always come to eat our faces too.

So, what can we do about this situation we’re in?

If you do feel ready to do this deep, difficult, rewarding work of movement-building without individualism and shaming, here are my suggestions. But first, I want to express my gratitude to you, because it’s really, really hard to push past the anger we’ve been trained to target at our fellow human beings enough to do this. Most people are not resourced enough for it. I struggle with it all the time!

Step one is to figure out which of your identities makes you best suited to talk to other people with that same identity. As much as it sucks, I have to accept that white people are more likely to listen to me than the Black and Indigenous people I have learned from, so I talk to them. It’s a responsibility, but also an opportunity. Men, talk to other men. Straight people, talk to other heteros. Religious people, talk to others in your faith. Non-Indigenous people, talk to other settlers. Most of all, working class people, talk to each other about class issues! (Class is generally the most productive place to focus your efforts in my opinion, because it’s the great uniter, and the reason we were divided against each other by capitalists in the first place. But it has to be grounded in decolonization as well.)

Here are five resources I suggest to start with to build these communication and organizing skills. None are perfect, all are just tools in a toolbox. Pick whichever interests you, leave anything you don’t feel aligned with.

1) Nonviolent communication training: an incredible resource for learning how to talk to and connect with people using a non-authoritarian approach. (This is where I learned to identify how often people interpret suggestions and requests as demands, a quick way to see how unresolved trauma functions to hamstring our movements.) The intro training is free on Spotify.

2) Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba: practical advice for organizing and activism, and how to make hope something that you build with others.

3) Maybe I’m cheating by calling this one a single resource, but it’s just too good! Interrupting Criminalization has got so much! Use it all, share it all! They are amazing!

4) Shaun does amazing work speaking to and about young white men from a critical but also humanizing perspective. Here’s another of his videos, and more resources I’ve compiled for fostering positive masculinity. I have also started making videos about this!

5) If the stuff about animist spirituality above intrigued you and you’re ready to go deeper and see how spirituality is an essential component to integrate in order to combat the appeal of fundamentalist cults, then listen to The Emerald podcast. “Oh Justice” is a relevant episode, but listen to any that pique your interest. My favourite is “Snail Juice.”

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. I’ve compiled a ton of free resources here. If you REALLY want to get down and dirty with that decolonial life, join my Patreοn to get access to exclusive patrons-only writing and videos, including my PhD dissertation, which was embargoed by my university for being too politically spicy. If you’re on a healing journey, you can consult with me about psychedelic use.

If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! Here are three ways to say thank you, and support me doing more of it:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me a straight-up cash tip if you’re baller like that

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young children.

No, we shouldn’t put them in prison

Today I saw, not for the first time, a group of people on Bluesky (supported by many likes) fantasizing about putting MAGA cultists in prison. No matter how often I see it, it still surprises me how quickly people turn to prison as a “solution” to problems. It represents a frighteningly violent desire for vengeance rather than actual solutions. It’s so normalized, and gets very little pushback.

Abolition needs to become much better understood. Let’s delve a bit into what jailing our political enemies would actually look like.

When you are feeling particularly and justifiably angry, you might hear yourself say, “I think Maga supporters should be in prison!”

So what you think should happen, the ideal solution in your heart and mind, is that we take the people who’ve been propagandized into a cult, and we put them in cages. We deprive them of food, we cut them off from their families and communities.

We let them get beat up and abused. We cut them off from trees and fresh air and the sound of birds. We deny them medical care and mental health support.

We control every minute of their day. We cut them off from any books that would help them understand and organize to change this situation.

We staff the place with guards. We put the burden of the dehumanization and control labour on these guards. These guards can then only deal with the psychological fracturing from facilitating this violence all day long by cutting off their ability to see these Maga prisoners as human.

We do that to them for some amount of time determined arbitrarily, maybe years. And then, what? We release them back into society after all that trauma?

Is that really, in your heart, what you think we should do?

Prison as a solution to social problems is a deeply unserious suggestion, and I think that needs to be said more often. But it’s more than that. It reflects a trapped imagination, an inability to think beyond the authoritarian control approaches that we’ve grown up with in settler colonial society.

More control, dehumanization and violence will not solve the problems caused by those things. Even if we wanted it to—and many do—we know it doesn’t work.

If prison worked to end behaviours that we don’t like in people, drug use would have been eliminated. But given that people are still doing drugs in prisons, as well as participating in every other kind of behaviour that landed them in there, and all of this continues after they get out of prison as well, it’s pretty clearly not effective. And sure, there may be some cases which seem like they are very clear-cut—certain frosty agents of the state who have harmed people—and your answer in those cases may be “well just don’t let them out at all.” But, even putting aside the massive problems of how harmful it is for the psyche and the soul to be a prison guard, as well as the dangers of having a system that grants certain people the power to decide who to put in cages for life in the first place (how do you know it won’t be turned on you, the way it is being turned on immigrants and trans people as we speak?), what about all the less clear-cut cases? What about those in power who knew what was going on, and stayed silent? What about the people who were conned and propagandized into supporting something that went against even their own interests? If we’re honest, that last category applies to almost all of us in the imperial core. Do Yemenis have a right to put Obama voters in prison? Do the Anishinaabe have a right to put Trudeau voters in prison?

This “jail my enemies” impulse scares me not only because of the unexamined bloodlust people so frequently display and support, but because each of these conversations means we’re not talking about what might actually work to change the conditions we’re facing. It’s doomerism, at its core.

Importantly, the opposite of prison and punishment is not “do nothing” or “don’t have any accountability.” I know you can think beyond that binary of “prison or nothing.” You are scared, I am too. But you are also smart and creative and wonderful. You can hold the complexity, the difficulty. We can hold it together. Abolitionists already have ideas for us!

If you do feel ready to do the deep, difficult, but rewarding work of exploring how we might get out of this mess with our humanity intact—first, I want to express my gratitude to you, because it’s honestly shockingly fucking hard to push past the anger enough to do this. Most people are not ready.

Step one is to figure out which of your identities makes you best suited to talk to other people with that same identity. As much as it sucks, I have to accept that white people are more likely to listen to me than the Black and Indigenous people I have learned from, so I talk to them. It’s a responsibility, but also an opportunity. Men, talk to other men. Straight people, talk to other heteros. Religious people, talk to others in your faith. Non-Indigenous people, talk to other settlers. Most of all, working class people, talk to each other about class issues! (Class is generally the most productive place to focus your efforts in my opinion, because it’s the great uniter, and the reason we were divided against each other by capitalists in the first place. But it has to be grounded in decolonization as well.)

Here are five resources I suggest to start with to build these communication and organizing skills. None are perfect, all are just tools in a toolbox. Pick whichever interests you, leave anything you don’t feel aligned with.

1) Nonviolent communication training: an incredible resource for learning how to talk to and connect with people using a non-authoritarian approach. (This is where I learned to identify how often people interpret suggestions and requests as demands, a quick way to see how unresolved trauma functions to hamstring our movements.) The intro training is free on Spotify.

2) Let This Radicalize You by Kelly Hayes and Mariame Kaba: practical advice for organizing and activism, and how to make hope something that you build with others.

3) Maybe I’m cheating by calling this one a single resource, but it’s just too good! Interrupting Criminalization has got so much! Use it all, share it all! They are amazing!

4) Shaun does amazing work speaking to and about young white men from a critical but also humanizing perspective. Here’s another of his videos, and more resources I’ve compiled for fostering positive masculinity. I have also started making videos about this!

5) If the stuff about animist spirituality above intrigued you and you’re ready to go deeper and see how spirituality is an essential component to integrate in order to combat the appeal of fundamentalist cults, then listen to The Emerald podcast. “Oh Justice” is a relevant episode, but listen to any that pique your interest. My favourite is “Snail Juice.”

Be well, keep up the good work, rest and find joy. I love you, we’re all in this together.

I quit academia to educate without gatekeeping. I’ve compiled a ton of free resources here. If you REALLY want to get down and dirty with that decolonial life, join my Patreοn to get access to exclusive patrons-only writing and videos, including my PhD dissertation, which was embargoed by my university for being too politically spicy. If you’re on a healing journey, you can consult with me about psychedelic use.

If you appreciate this article, please share it with others! Here are three ways to say thank you, and support me doing more of it:

❤️ Join my Patreon 

💲 Send me a straight-up cash tip if you’re baller like that

👧 Buy my kids supplies like toothpaste and sunscreen!

Dr. Hilary Agro is an anthropologist, community organizer and mother of two young children.

Can you be a parent and an activist?

I am consumed by a difficult realization I’ve come to lately.

The care my children need to be as protected as possible under the conditions of capitalism outstrips my ability to provide it while also doing activism.

It’s hard to admit, but I didn’t put very much thought, before having kids, into how much doing so might take away from the activism that’s been the bedrock of my life for over a decade. Attempting to maintain the same level of productivity in my work and organizing while parenting two small children has so impacted my physical and mental health that I believe I have finally, just recently, hit extreme burnout.

My body aches at all times. My hips are in pain, possibly due to the double C-section scar that I have not given myself the time to properly heal, because who has time for that when there’s an overdose crisis and people are dying? My teeth grind at night, possibly because I have not let myself access the amount of rest I’d need to relax my body, because who has time for that when there are multiple genocides happening? The pain in my back starts at a 4 every morning and ramps up to an 8 by the end of the day, because who has time to do yoga when the oceans are acidifying and the forests are burning and leftists can’t stop angrily venting their trauma at their fellow working-class people for long enough to build a movement that can turn this ship around?

I turn this physical pain into empathy, by thinking about the parents and other workers who secretly use opioids to deal with the pain thrust upon them by the demands of capitalist (re)production. I finally get, on an embodied level, why they do it. I wish more people would understand that drug use is a rational response to a violent society, because if they did, we might stop throwing people who use drugs in prison and taking away their children. My pain turns into wisdom, and I feel compelled to share this wisdom with others, so I do. It feels so urgent. A more pressing demand than taking twenty minutes out of my day to massage my C-section scar and do physiotherapy for my diastasis recti. So the pain lingers in my body, like a poison made of urgency, of the screams of dying Palestinians and old growth forests.

I do not believe that parenting on its own is enough of a contribution to building a better world, as many people say it is. Just “raising the next generation with good values” is not enough when our land, air and water are under such dire, immediate threat that by the time my children are adults, they may not have anything left to survive with. The problems are too urgent for parents to do nothing but raise our children well. But how much labour is enough?

I made my decision to have kids before knowing that a dangerous virus would be threatening us for years on end. Before knowing how little I would be able to rely on the Canadian medical system, or any other system, or even my own community members, to protect us. I feel naive, but I see people still making the (to me, at the moment, somewhat baffling) decision to have children, so it would seem that either the gravity of the threats facing children right now are not actully as severe as they seem to be from my ostensibly well-informed perspective, or most people, even leftists, are in denial about the dangers and the weight of responsibility that comes with bringing children into the current world. Or perhaps, as a neurodivergent person in trauma recovery whose disabilities did not become so acutely obvious and pressing until after I had kids, I am simply far less equipped than most people to handle the stresses of parenting. But I’m not sure I’m so unique, as our society is disabling and trauma-creating on a scale wider than most people realize.

To keep my kids truly safe, I would need to join their school’s PTA and devote all my time to ensuring quality air filtration in their classrooms. I would need to spend the few spoons I have on teaching them to wear masks in indoor public spaces and convincing them to keep doing it, every day, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when no one else is doing it.

I would need to teach them how to garden, to build their connection to the land so they become naturalized citizens of this place, and learn to care for the land that cares for us, as well as survival skills for what may come.

I would need to prepare weekly activities that make them into good neighbours and citizens. Writing thank-you cards, preparing gifts for their friends, baking cookies to bring to parties.

I would need to expose them to Mother Earth, creatively teach them to understand and love trees so their ability to see and appreciate nature doesn’t wither under the ten-tonne weight of the cartoons and superheroes vying for their attention and filling their brains with cravings for plastic toys and refined sugar.

I have been doing some of this already. But the parts I’m able to do are already more than I have the capacity for. So where, in all of this, is there time to organize my community? How can I attend socialist meetings with an energetic three-year-old? How much of my limited supply of energy can I give to exposing myself to enough information about the various ongoing genocides that I am able to take action to stop them, without becoming incapacitated for the evening when my third labour shift of the day starts? How can I do all of this while also finishing my PhD, taking care of my relationships, and maintaining my physical and emotional health?

These are questions I have been struggling with, with no good answers. I am not currently striking a balance. Maybe when they’re older, I can more easily involve them in organizing activities. Does that mean that while they’re 3 and 5, I can take a full break from all of it? When do I start up again? Which aspects of my caregiving or my community organizing can I sacrifice?

Caring for two small children on my own, which I often do these days, means the built-in stress levels of my day-to-day are high. It requires large amounts of patience, recovery time, and practicing emotional regulation skills to parent with only sporadic community and family support. It’s easy to say “cook with your kids,” it’s harder to put that task into practice when half of your time and attention is spent intervening in messes, breaking up fights, rushing a toddler to the bathroom, and attempting to give two children 100% of your attention when at most they can each have 50%. In the evening, you have to try to do all of this while you’re already exhausted from a full day of labour, and facing down another endless bedtime (my 3-year-old Mila does not, and seemingly cannot, fall asleep until 10 pm).

And all the while, underneath, there is the gnawing tension of the knowledge that good participatory habits must be fostered early—if you wait until your kids are old enough that they’re better able to stir soup without spilling it or carry a carton of eggs without dropping it, by then they won’t want to cook with you at all, because the early flames of their desire to will have died out, tamped down by their cargivers’ exhausted impatience and redirected towards toys and screens.

Children can sense the neglect inherent to the nuclear family arrangement, and it upsets them. They need so much more than one or two caregivers can provide. My 5-year-old Eva is increasingly frustrated with my inability to read to her for as long as she would like because of the demands and interruptions of her younger sister. Meanwhile, Mila is the most extroverted human being I have ever met (you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not) and is the easiest kid in the world if many people are around for her to interact with, but if you’re on your own with her, you do not get a break. I don’t have the energy or time for much creative play because I’m so busy meeting their basic needs and teaching them functional skills, and most of the time there are no other kids around to meet their very high need for play. It’s wonderful when they play with each other, but more often than not it ends in tears and rage as I cannot supervise closely enough to make sure Mila doesn’t grab Eva’s toys while I’m making their breakfast. Humans were not meant to live in isolation like this. It’s simply not possible to give children everything they need under these circumstances, and that’s without adding the extra pressure to stave off environmental collapse.

I do have friends who help me out, and they are lifesavers. The tiniest act—playing with my kids, washing a few dishes—fills me with overwhelming gratitude. I have especially noticed that my comrades who are the most accomodating and helpful are the ones who are the most embedded in liberationist politics, which is beautiful and, I suppose, unsurprising. The ways in which liberation-minded people are trying to live our values and build the communities we want to see gives me hope (though it also comes with complicated feelings—I cried with equal parts relief and deep guilt when my Palestinian friend offered to come vacuum my apartment when my vaccum broke, at a time when her people were and are being genocided). But these are also friends I’ve made largely through my activism—what happens if I give that up for several months, or a year, or two? Will they still show up for me if I’m burnt out and unable to reciprocate any community work? I need so much because my children need so much, and there’s so little I can offer in return right now. How much can I rely on my already overworked and burnt out friends, most of whom are BIPOC, queer, and/or disabled?

I can see, like I’m Neo at the end of the Matrix, exactly how all of these pressures create the desire to make more money. Money can solve many (though not all) of these problems, so buckling down and focusing on securing income for your own family feels like the only option. And once you do that, you’re hooked—the desire to make money in order to feel safe and afford the supports you need becomes its own self-sustaining capitalist illness. There but for the grace of my own neurodivergent stubbornness, and years of exposure to anarcho-communist principles and Indigenous ontologies, go I.

What to do, then? My bones are creaking. My mind is consumed with grief for the state of our world. It’s too much. I have recently decided to take a medical leave from my PhD to focus on getting my health back in order. I’ll be putting a pause on most of my activism as well, which will be the hardest part. But something has to change. I love myself, my kids and my comrades too much to not try to find balance. I cannot tell others that this is a marathon not a sprint, take care of yourself and all that, and not follow my own advice. I am going to reset, spend time with trees, and figure out what a sustainable work/life/activism balance looks like for me now.

Most parents in your community don’t have the ability to do this. They are drowning.

I know that many people, given how empathetic and kind my audience generally is, will want to soothe and reassure me that I’m doing the best I can. You may want to offer tips to improve my situation. I do appreciate and welcome this, but what would truly make me feel better would be if you commit to helping your comrades who have children, and talk about it publicly. You really can’t imagine how much stress they’re under. We have so normalized the idea that parenting is naturally exhausting, many parents don’t even realize that they should not have to suffer like this. Child care is mutual aid, and one of its most neglected and essential forms. I would probably cite Silvia Federici or Sophie Lewis here if any of their books existed on audiobook so I could read them, lol.

So, what can you do? Here are some suggestions:

  • It’s hard to get kids out the door to go to things, so go visit your friends with kids. Ask what help they need, and if they’re unsure, the kitchen or bathroom is a great place to start. Bring food.
  • The best thing for the whole family is playing with the kids themselves, as you can give parents a break while simultaneously providing something that kids badly need, which is socialization with people beyond their primary caregivers.
  • Many of us parents fall into the instinct to zone out on our phones when we get a second of reprieve. If you’re offering to take care of the kids for a bit, gently ask your friend to think about what they might want to use that time for. If it’s zoning out on their phone, that’s fine, but just a little orienting question to help them be intentional about it will help, and it may make them more likely to do something more restorative with their time.
  • Offer not only to go on outings with your friends and their kids, but offer to meet them at their place first to help get the kids out the door.
  • Hang out with your parent friends while they’re in the park so you can chat while they kids run around the playground. Host gatherings in kid-friendly spaces.
  • Talk to others in your leftist organization(s) about accomodations for parents. Can you provide engaged child care at meetings? Can you help parents get to meetings? If your group is small, can you commit to meeting at the homes of people with kids, if they’d prefer that? Can you bring snacks/food to family-friendly actions, and state that on social media so parents know they don’t have to do the added labour of packing snacks?
  • Wear masks in indoor public settings. Fight for better air filtration in these same settings, or bring your own air filters to events/gatherings. Open all the windows.

Thank you, beloveds, for reading all of this, and for thinking about what I’ve offered here. Please share this post on social media so it can start discussions about these issues. Do you have similar experiences or insights to share? Am I the only one going through this?

One thing, though–note that if your instinct when you share this is to talk about how all of this is why you decided not to have kids, that’s fine, but please temper it with a stated commitment to helping other peoples’ children survive, as it can otherwise come off as dismissing these common concerns as the fault of individual parents’ decisions to have kids, when doing so is the most normal impulse in existence and shouldn’t be shamed. If we want to build a better world, we need to support parents, as they are the primary caretakers of the next generation that will help us survive in old age, and will pass on our teachings. More than anything, because children deserve so much more love and care than they are being given under the current conditions. You do too. We all do.

Hilary Agro is a community organizer, low-income PhD student & mother of two young children. If you appreciate the labour that went into this article, consider sending me and my kids some masks, HEPA filters, diapers or books, or just a cash tip

How can we save ourselves?

I’m an anthropologist doing my PhD on activism and organizing. I’ve also been an organizer myself for over a decade, primarily focusing on drug policy, but also coalition-building between different groups of people impacted by capitalism (aka, the entire working class). Right now, more than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime, people are ready for change and hungry to take action. So my goal is to facilitate transferring knowledge and experience from seasoned activists to newer ones, so people don’t have to learn lessons the hard way, and we can be as effective as possible in transitioning to a world that isn’t shitty. So here’s what I’ve found so far about what actually works, and what doesn’t.

What works:

“Hope doesn’t preclude feeling sadness or frustration or anger or any other emotion that makes total sense. Hope isn’t an emotion, you know? Hope is not optimism. Hope is a discipline… we have to practice it every single day.” — Mariame Kaba
  • Building community by making people feel welcome. This is the first and most important step. People won’t trust you if they think you don’t care about them or aren’t actually listening to their needs. Prove to them you care about them first, and create spaces where they feel welcomed, included, listened to and valued.
    • “[A woman in the group] really started to encourage me and welcome me, like, ‘hey, you’re good at this, you understand what you’re talking about and have passion. Would you consider joining the board and being more involved?'” – a Canadian activist I interviewed on why she got involved with a group
  • Leveraging labour power – it’s all we’ve got. Unionize and strike.
  • Targeted, specific, strategic goals.
  • Creating coalitions based on bonds of trust and support.
  • Balancing learning with praxis.
  • Understanding intersectionality.
  • Seeing all struggles as interconnected.
  • Being kind to people and hard on systems. (E.g., it’s not “men” that are the problem, it’s patriarchal masculinity. People can and do break free of the systems & programming that are causing them to harm others.)
  • Practicing hope as a discipline. It’s an action, it’s something you practice, not a feeling.

What doesn’t often work:

  • Using shame (especially on working class people) – I can’t stress this one enough. You were disciplined using shame in your childhood – how did that make you feel? How do you wish you were treated instead? Probably with patience, kindness, love and clear boundaries. Start treating others, and yourself, that way.
  • Begging politicians – they don’t care. They only respond to leverage.
  • Spending all your time reading theory.
  • Arguing with strangers online.
  • Dehumanizing others (including people who you disagree with, even people who dehumanize you. This is very hard, but it’s essential).
  • Playing oppression olympics rather than looking for the overlaps in our struggles.
  • Nihilism, especially when you tell others there’s nothing we can do – every time you do that, Jeff Bezos smiles and pours himself another glass of adrenochrome.
  • Relying on saviours, politicians, or anyone with power.

This is not a complete list by any means, just a bit of what’s come out of my own organizing experience and my research (working with & interviewing dozens of seasoned activists). I’m (agonizingly, painstakingly) writing a whole dissertation about it, but I want to start posting tidbits like this on my blog like I used to!

Feel free to leave a comment and discuss with your friends and comrades, and remember:

  • We’re in this together, and we’re all we have. Be kind.
  • Focus on what actually works, not what you wish worked. Interrogate whether an approach is based in hate and catharsis, or love and care with a clear-minded appraisal of a situation. What evidence do you have that a certain tactic is effective? What else could be tried? What feels good in your body to do?

For more information and resources, poke around this list! Or just go straight for the best resource by reading the book Let This Radicalize You by Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes.

The work I do to put together resources like this and organize in my community takes a lot of time and energy, and I do it for free in my limited spare time as a grad student and mother of two small children. If you are grateful for my work and want to support me making more of it, your help is deeply appreciated and will go to feeding myself and my two little kids:

💲 Send money on PayPal
🍼 Send my baby some diapers (or me some books)
❤️ Support me on Patreon

I love you. Stay strong. Act always from care, not hate. Spend your energy wisely. Model the world you want to see ❤️